10/19/2005 - 2:59 a.m. | this is also a true story

From Smacko:

"some gross bitch tried to flash us for a piece of pizza but didn't even show nip so she got shot down. I can only imagine how terrible she will feel tommorow morning. I also somewhat hope she is hit by a bus on her way home tonight. This is for somewhat selfish reasons seeing as how I have a running bet with my dad about the numberof casualties due to buses this year but none the less I wish pain upon that hambeast."

The thing is, I immediately forgot about this, too. I read it, and I was like, "Oh yeah! That DID happen!" She had large knockers (which is to say she was a fatty - Smacko was correct) and while she did pull out a substantial portion of them, which just seemed to go on forever, so much fat sac gag gag gag, no nipple saw the light of day. The hobo ended up with more pizza than her.

Lord, we were obnoxious at the bar tonight. Constantly screaming about Katrina Call Outs (with backup cries of "Ohhhhh!" and "Holla!"), making fun of this one table of fatties and lopsided boobs, and Spritz shitting all over poor Allison's friends for their indie leanings. Actually, scratch any shame from the latter - it's about time someone was upfront with those fucks. It was sort of glorious seeing them hit by a train. So greasy and no idea what to say, just stutter shock.

Many dollar pints and drops of Tabasco were consumed. Also One World Pizza. Frown. We made a small bonfire, I kept doling portions of my beer out as rewards, and Sgt. Pepper was there as well. It wasn't a completely stupid night.