04/13/2005 - 8:32 a.m. | additionally

I would be willing to put up with the depression and anxiety if it was matched by a period of equal mania and aggression. Mania would be interesting as hell, if I was restless and impulsive and did crazy shit just because crazy shit needed to be done by someone. I mean, some might call an impromptu trip to Texas to meet with a relative stranger a little impulsive, but it was still clearly within the bounds of rational thinking; I have a set of limits on what I'll do, and the trip fell squarely within them. The sadness was always irrational, and I would want the ecstacy to be just as useless. I think that's only fair.

Meanwhile, I won't be writing until I have something more substantial than vague omens about bicycle accidents.