04/12/2005 - 12:23 a.m. | new theory

If emotions were on a sliding scale from 10 to -10, with the former being manic and the latter being suicidally depressed, I am hovering around a 0.5.

With my emotions deadened to where they are, perhaps my actions can be explained as an attempt to feel anything - anything - even if it is something bad. I cause trouble because I know that trouble still makes me hurt. Just so I can feel stuff again.

And maybe this knowledge has helped.