03/20/2004 - 2:51 p.m. | his head is retarded

Well, it would seem that I have been cursed with the very type of sickness that I hate the most. This sore throat just will not go away, and I'm pretty somebody is gonna stab me because of this near-constant cough. Mentally, feeling better? Yeah, maybe, dunno. I guess it could be construed as a bad sign that I have the stirrings of hermitism again, but at least it's the right week for it, you know?

I don't know precisely what to recap, which is a sign that I should recap nothing, but here goes anyway. The nicest thing I've seen somebody do in a while is when the lady I cross the guard with in the morning ran over to help this old woman carry her big box of recycling stuff out. If I had caught sight of her out of the corner of my eye, I would like to think that I, too, would have helped, but who knows whether or not I am actually being honest? Anyway, the day passed in relative obscurity. I slept and went to AbPsych, but I cannot for the life of me remember how I passed the time away this time. I didn't read, and I didn't have anything to draw on, and God forbid I ever listen to lecture, and now I swear there are two redheads in class who are checking me out. And I guess I don't even mind anymore. I'm losing my bias, which is sort of depressing, because I seem to associate it with a lowering of standards, but it appears to be out of my control. I keep doing these "at least" things. "Well, her face is plenty bleh, but at least she has big boobs (although I do not particularly like boobs, something remains of my inherent nature so I know I am at least supposed to like them)" Or, "Well, she does have millions of death freckles, but at least her eyes are pretty." Which is more than I can currently say of my nose.

Read at work, came home fully intent upon sleeping early, but I need to stop deluding myself. There was a big sale at Express today, so Spritz wanted to go out and show off his new duds, I guess, but one of the aforementioned duds was this huge, guady fucking shit terrible big silver lion's head belt buckle. Tangent time.

In the past, Spritz has never shown anything but impeccable taste in clothing. I mean, I could never pull off what he wears, but I am at least a good judge of what actually looks good or not, and this belt buckle was fucking Lucifer Himself, I swear. He shops at Express, of course, and he has always been able to make the distinction between the classy stuff they have there and the hipster doofus bullshit they keep towards the back. A little less Ryan Seacrest than Ryan Seacrest, if you get my drift. So, I was totally up in arms about this belt buckle because... well, it's just wrong. I can't even understand the logic behind it. I mean, Spritz obviously knew how huge and bizarre it was, so I could maybe see doing it out of irony, except Spritz doesn't do shit out of irony, and it just wouldn't fit in with the image he presents. Clearly, my world was spiraling out of control. So I started yelling at him, and Kyle joined in (Michelle was pro-buckle, but she likes guys in white button down shirts - the most typical, generic thing in the whole world - so she was immediately vetoed), and we eventually talked him out of it. Kyle felt guilt, but I am still a heartless monster, it would seem. Cruel to be kind and whatnot.

Anyway, with the buckle gone, I decided that I could in fact go along with Spritz to the Highdive, although my own logic fails there a little bit because I had no idea what I would actually be doing there. Turns out it didn't matter, though, because the line was huge, and it was cold, and this SUV was circling the block, blasting bass so horrid that even Spritz couldn't begin to like it. It reminded me of the sound of diarrhea, amplified to the point of rattling windows. And yes, it did take me several seconds to come up with that wicked comparison.

Instead, we got donuts. Actually, I just got donuts. Day old green St. Patrick's Day donuts, one of which may be blueberry, so I am going to hide it now or something. I was planning on writing all of this, but then that... other stuff happened, and I got really grumpy, and I don't make sense when I'm grumpy, so I am sorry about that. To everyone. Mostly I just coughed while Brytne and I tried to finish beating Mario, which was an inevitable failure, although I almost have the foresight to occasionally run through a level at top speed and not get crushed immediately. It is hilarious, incidentally, that I actually believed Brytne when she said she was a master of the game.

Friday was an amazingly boring day, but I suppose that is mostly my own fault. With other people around, I assume someone is going to come up with something fun to do, so I just sort of wait around listlessly for it to happen when I should be trying to do something myself. I did go to see Dawn of the Dead with Yousaf and Will, though, and it was tons better than I thought it would be, enough so that I think I am going to rent the originally trilogy and watch it sometime this week. Both Will and I thought the soundtrack was really good in its inappropriateness, and I liked the opening a whole lot, when the world was going to shit (but then I've always had an affinity for that sort of thing, the sick fuck). It was funny, and the zombies are so much better than zombies used to be (I am so glad they can run now - no more lurch, fall, doy!!!), and it had Bruce Campbell's brother as well as Lindy Booth, who is my favorite unappreciated weird little actress, and who actually does look better with red hair, I am sad to say. What is wrong with me these days?

Mostly, I read, but Kyle and I did play some Mario, and I believe I proved just how cool I am. Within 5 minutes of Brytne being out the door, I ask, "So.... are those Dr. Peppers in the fridge Brytne's?" I am so sly, you cannot even believe it. While out on the roof or something, Kyle met some of our neighbors, who turned out to be huge Nintendo dorks - actually, huge dorks in general - so they came over and joined the Bashes and everyone else in playing Super Nintendo and pretty much being as nerdy as possible. Maybe I just wasn't up for it, or maybe 'cause it felt like I'd heard it all before, but I wasn't into it, and I don't think Michelle was either, so we ran off to our respective islands of boredom (me with my Disney Channel original movies and her with her crocheting). But I can see why people would drink, I almost can. Eventually, I did sort of drag Spritz away to check out the party down the street, but it was all Allen kids (talkin' 'bout their Parasol and their Unit One and shit) and apparently that means no dancing or fun at all (but there was a dog!), so Spritz had a smoke and we left. I tried to sleep not long afterwards, but the cough made for a pretty miserable night, I think. I seemed to have blocked some of it out, which is fortunate. I wish everyone would just open up, you know? And stop fucking around.

In happier news, Coca Cola is pulling Dasani water off the market in the UK. Why, you ask? Well, while simultaneously touting the product's purity, Coke was more or less getting shit water from the River Thames. Then, I guess in an attempt to clean it up, they added some cancer-causing agent to the mix. God bless them, every one.