02/25/2004 - 2:17 a.m. | al qaeda dies with YOU

Forgive the entry lull, but I'm in one of my periods of remission lately (speaking of which, did you say tonight's episode of "Scrubs?" :( Sad!). Part of this is because I spend my time not, you know, doing stuff but instead playing this buggy piece of shit 3D RPG so that I can live out my lockpicking fantasies without being arrested. When I go to class, I spend the entirety of my time drawing cartoon monkeys. I've sort of been tossing about this idea for a comic strip or something, and this is just the due process until I give it up and move on to something else.

My crossing guard job makes me really happy, though. I mean, of course, the morning shift is a little rough, but it makes me happy to see all the cute little kids thank me and stuff. One girl has these little tiny artfag glasses and cute little jackets and stuff. If I had kids, I'd hope they'd have cool taste like that. And, as it supposedly my responsiblity to dress them for the first however many years, I will go with whatever I want.

Next Monday is the big psych lab midterm. Besides the normal stuff, I have to learn 34 parts of the sheep brain. And unfortunately, they are not little colorful candy-coated pieces like they should be. It's all grey and white, and if you haven't noticed, those are hard to distinguish at times. To pad my suffering, I buy sacks of old donuts from the gas station. 3 for a buck. Take that, ass.

Today, I left for abpsych a little later than usual, but I wanted to finish studying the section before I went to take the quiz. Still, I thought, I always make it with plenty of time to spare. It's like I do these things on purpose. So, as I'm careening towards Illinois, the chain pops off of my bike, and suddenly, no more acceleration. More importantly, no more brakes, so I dive off the bike because that would be a stupid way to die. My death is reserved solely for the psycho killers in Huff Hall. So, on the side of the road, I eventually figure out how to put the chain back on through some sort of elaborate rolling and stroking process (the bike fell on me once) except I was smart enough to recently oil the chain, so my hands sort of look like I wiped my ass with them, so back home to wash (Dawn, the grease cutter!). Which is why I missed the quiz. Which is why I took it after class in a hurry. Which is why I why I got to my crossing guard post just a little late. No excuses, though. Actually, it wasn't so bad. There was a time when I would've been really freaked out the whole time, and that would have made me pissed, anxious, sad, and frustrated at various intervals. Instead, I just kept singing my cute little songs and calmly tried to get stuff done. Isn't science grand?

While Spritz shopped for his usual wad of clothes (He gets so excited about the prospect of pants... I really don't want to ruin it for him and explain that pants, in fact, are quite boring... unless you mean the word. Then hilarious), I tried to find some book to focus my attentions on. No palm reading books, no Tony Robbins books - what kind of world is this? I thought about getting this super clearance book about Scientology, but I think I am going to learn first hand. I will be turning in my application presently. Then I will get myself E-read up real good and become a 5th level Paladin. Like John Travolta.

I finally recorded Pixel Perfect off of the Disney Channel. Probably by tomorrow, I will have it available for anyone who is as masochistic as myself... when it comes to television programming. More importantly, tomorrow is the opening of The Passion of the Christ. Dank and I will surely be there. Roger Ebert says it is the most violent movie he has ever seen. God bless religion. Or religion bless God? DAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW