02/19/2004 - 12:53 a.m. | it's as funny as it's perverse

I was so amazingly tired this morning that it's a wonder I wasn't smashed by a bus or something. Actually, that would've been nice comparatively because I think people who get hit by buses get to sleep in. Just a theory, though. A nap done fixed me up some, though, and upon looking at the funds I have currently accrued, I may in fact start silk screening anyway. At least it's a productive waste of my time. And I'm sure the chicks will dig how artsy it is. Mmm-hmm. Fuck testosterone.

This afternoon while I guarded the cross, I eventually got caught up in building this huge snow dam for all the water going into the sewer. I could be an engineer, I swear; I just hate hate hate it. Luckily, I'm all done with my advertising application, so I won't have to worry about that, hmm? There was almost an accident at my intersection today. And no, not my fault. Actually, I don't know who was at fault. Two cars at opposite ends of the intersection slowly turned together towards the same lane and somehow ignored the fact that another car was coming at them.

Spritz and I went out to eat at the Olive Garden. $10 on a meal; that's big shit for me. And of course I owed Spritz the Jew (well, he's not Jewish, but he is Jewish) some kickbacks or something, so he had his three course meal. Meanwhile, we both played Gameboys at the table, entirely confirming just how big of dorks we are. This group of girls our age took a table near us (joining Bottle Rocket screamer kid and Starey) and man... I tried so hard to think, "OK, these are just bad apples; not all girls are like this..." but I am quickly losing track of why that particular gender is supposed to be so great. I mean, sex. From what I'm told, that's supposed to be what guys are shooting for, but arg. They were just so dumb and petty and conniving and just so into themselves. And don't get me wrong; guys are rotten, too. We're horny and we cheat and act cocky and try to be impressive, and we laugh like fucking gorillas or maybe that was just the guy in the lobby, but hell. There are so many rotten people all around, and it's like this badness is encouraged. So, do you go bad or do you get fucked? Good question. I'm losing my patience with people, though.

"American Idol" was lame and then I cleaned the bathroom except the fake OxyClean stuff I used on the bathmat was poison, I think, because I am not fairing too well. The Redbull I had for emergencies countered the coma, though. And we almost look presentable now, too. Spritz thinks we should do a stop motion animation of the sink getting more and more disgusting.

After some research, I attempted to go out to the library and get a book but was sidetracked by a game of HatLead with Kyle. Then I spent numerous minutes making little genitals for the foosball people. I really don't have the patience for this, but it's good to talk. I acted out some sumo shite (accent's gone but there are remnants), seppuku, and throwing myself against the wall, leading to pounding from the trolls, leading to a tirade from us. Revenge will be contemplated, and it will be bizarre. God inflates frogs? Right. Nevermind that.

I did finally go to the library. On the way back, I saw a cat by the side of the road. I slowed down to look at it. "Hi, cat!" I said. On closer inspection, it was a raccoon. "Hi, raccoon!" I said. It hissed at me. "Hi, rabid!" I said and rode away really fast.