02/20/2004 - 8:27 a.m. | daughter stabbed cat lady with pen

Today's title comes from a mysterious IM I seemingly left for myself while at work yesterday. Who knows what twisted part of my brain came up with that?

While I wait for a (ahem) legitimate copy of "Big Brat" to download, and since I tried something new where I sleep first and then write the diary in the morning... lost my train of thought. Damn.

I decided that I needed a cause yesterday, and that cause will be marijuana. No, mother, I don't smoke the shit; no, the other toxic chemical in my lungs is that damn Woolite OxyBooster garbage. Anyway, I had to read about all these different drugs in my biopsych book, and for most of them, it sort of made sense. They'd tell what the drug did to make you feel whatever you felt and then it would talk about why what it did could eventually do bad things. This was fine in all cases except for the weed weed, which was strangely vague. So, I did a little research at the antidrug websites because I figured they would use the scariest facts, and the results were just lame. The basic idea they presented was that marijuana is bad because it's bad, and that's dumb logic. OK, sure, smoking it can give you lung cancer and emphysema and all those wacky problems but so do the quite legal tobacco products. And perhaps pot can make you disoriented and do wacky things but so does alcohol, and that's legal as well. In fact, this campus pretty much runs on it. But mostly their argument was that it's bad because it's illegal, and that's the most blatant rationalization I've ever heard. My favorite part was how they used an explanation of how the drug works as they main reason it was bad. "Marijuana produces a chemical that fools your brain and activates neuron receptor sites. IT ALTERS YOUR BRAIN!!!" Yeah, so does morphine, you dodgy fuck. So, yes. Legalize. And all that.

A far more disturbing trend in my mind is the horrid addiction our age group seems to have for beads. Females especially. I was listening to the radio at work, and I heard five different ads about how many different types of beads all the bars had and how you should try to get all the beads and in mass quantaties if possible. "Beads, beads, beads!" said the one especially obnoxious voice-over guy they use so very often. Now, maybe these are different beads - magic ones! or something - but if I remember right, I think we're talking about junky, sorta shiny shit plastic beads here. Where did I miss the part about why these are good? I did a little research and all I could find was justbeads.com, an auction site dedicated wholly to beads. "Finally, an auction site just for beads!" it boasts. Fuck you. Anyway, I'm sort of worried because, like marijuana, beads can lead to misguided behavior like showing your boobs and having unsafe sex. So they should probably be illegal, I think.

I have a plan for a big score, but I need to get to an art store.

I'm so glad I convinced myself to stay for the little group activities in abpsych yesterday. Really fulfilled all my expectations. That I should skip them from now on. And damn you fake "Big Brat"s. Stupid internet getting clever on us. Some guy heckled me as I rode to go guard the cross. Someday - it is inevitable - I will get into a fight. And it will not be good.

Man, I totally went to bed last night being pissed off at like the whole of the human race. I couldn't think of one really good person. I've been noticing this more and more, too. I'm just so angry at how low everyone's levels are. Or something. Anyway, I woke up today and apparently gave everyone a reprieve. How noble of you, Nate... shithead. Don't thank me; thank Jenny Stiegler. I had a dream or some sort of intuition about her this morning, and it made me happy. So, what I'm going to do is write her a letter. I'm trying to go with my gut on these things and hope that it's not just white noise from my brain, that I am getting these things for a reason. And how does my ass always get wet when I specifcally take the time to dry off my bike seat just in case? Are there little elves underneath who spray me with tiny water pistols? Is that it? 'cause if so, man, some elves are gettin' squished up good tonite.