12/02/2003 - 12:52 a.m. | RELEASE RELEASE

Hi! Everyone is asleep - OK, maybe not asleep, but their doors are shut and I'm alone, so I shut mine in kind so it looks like I have something to do besides, say, drunkenly throwing cards.

So, what up then? Last night, while Spritz reached critical in the middle of his coughing death syndrome, we all went with Dank and Yousaf to Perkins. Actually, before that, I looked at Avril posters a little. I know, it's wrong, but you have to think about this: I almost surely have the largest collection of her posters in the world, and I don't want to lose my title, OK? And I don't care what you say; she's sort of pretty. Sometimes. Occasionally. In a certain pose or two. So you back off. And I am better at searching for the posters on ebay than... anybody. !! Will we be buying the drinking game from 1969? Will we? Oh - I got inspired and moved my desk so that my back is facing the door. I will need a mirror so that I cannot be stabbed in the back, but otherwise, it is good. Anyway, yes. We went out. It was good. Then I went back to Dank's and we watched Bruce Almighty. I swear to God I could write cliched movies right now. Hopefully, this is a sign that I will mature and will someday be able to write brilliant films. Probably not. Seems like I had some stories I wanted to tell or something, but I think most of it was the "ya hadta be there" sort of thing, and I just know y'all hate that. Still - it feels sort of empty, you know? I ran back - remember running? - and then sort of forced insomnia on myself. I was about out of things to do by 3, but there I was at 4:15, digging around in my closets for God knows what reason. I did sleep later on. And it was warm.

I woke up today with sort of a strange feeling, the feeling of one who had not gone exactly all of the ridiculous amount of sleep his body has been craving (and getting) all last week. I sort of liked it. Masochist. Anyway, as these are my final two weeks of cretin semester, I've decided that no class shall go unattended. All the knowledge of the whole semester will come flying at me in just the tiny space of two weeks! Imagine the opportunities! Boy, will I be regretting that. Case in point: Journalism. What with the final in the class this Friday, I sort of though Old Man Senile would get around to a little review. Silly me. Instead, Zimos and I admired the fold out Puddle of Mudd posters in today's issue of the paper. Yes!

Back here to putz around for a time. I turned on mobile forwarding on AIM, so now whenever I'm gone, all my IMs will be sent to my phone. *giggle* Technology is cute. Of course, this will cost me a dime a message, but I think it's worth it to see: "From VESteltenpohl: hi" and then have no conceivable way of continuing the conversation. But what am I but a realist? Then some card throwing. I was thinking that I had improved vastly, but apparently my house is a vaccuum because it just really messed up the flight of the cards there. Weird. Kyle and I started throwing them at each other, but I choke under pressure. To remedy this, I have printed out a terrible, giant blown-up picture of his head and tacked it to the wall. Know your enemy.

Will and I went to stats, of course, but mostly we just talked about our main fears: failing stats and talking to people. Of course, to do this, we were loud as hell, and we were surrounded by girls some reason. I like to think they were finally giving us a shot, and we failed absolutely miserably. The class scares me. I think I know the stuff sometimes, but lots of it is just pure insanity, and we just make stabs in the night. If I got that 23 on the test, I will no longer speaking in complete sentences because of the fork I have jammed into my brain. Get used to it.

Upon arriving home, I was told by Kyle that I needed to take up whittling. This is a good idea except the only thing I have every whittled is a big stick into a pointy little stick. Nateskillz. We went to Kyle's parents, and I finally met his brother. Genetics are hilarious. While not the same person, of course, their mannerisms float in and out of each other as far as I can tell. You'd know what I mean if you saw them. He put the donut in the microwave for a bit and then forgot about it, making it all melty. Then, he walked away from the microwave leaving it on accidentally. It's like looking into the clone universe or whatever. He is a fox, though. This will not be denied.

We ate lunch at Za's, and then it was more or less off to work for me. I read some and then did my stats extra credit (I usually convince myself I don't need that sort of thing; this time I am convinced). I gave the homework a shot, but yeah... I always have such big plans for myself. "OK, I'm gonna finish all of stats, then I'll write my JLit paper tonight, and then tomorrow I'll do all the advertising quizzes, and I'll be all set!" Yeah, hop to it. The homework was impossible and made me sad. Then they took away me table for the girls' basketball game. The girls, by the way, decided that it would be best to swarm around my little area while I was trying to force my brain to reconcile doing any sort of math. I am not sure if it was deliberate, but there was seriously no room to breathe in a hallway that's actually very huge. They kept brushing up against me and stuff, too. If I have just started attracting high school girls during my second year of college, I am going to cry, cry, cry.

Once they left and I gave up on real work, I tried throwing cards, but I guess Kenney exists in the same vaccuum as my house because they sucked balls at flying evenly. So then what? I tried walking around to find a better spot, but mostly I lost cards. And then when I came back, the hallway was taken over by the UIUC girls' volleyball team, and according to my theory, I will have to be like 7 or 8 years older before they will get interested in me. Instead, I just sat in the hallway and listened to them talk. So, so perky. Their speech, you clod. Security Guard came up and seemed like he wanted to talk or something, but I sure as hell wasn't going to start. OK, now I know for a fact that I've got the whole social whatsits, and yet it seems like I'm almost always put into the position where I am supposed to be the one to talk first. What about all you normals? You should be piping up like a motherfucker. Perhaps if I didn't look so angry. Mostly I ate lemon drops.

Left as soon as I could, worked on my JLit paper, screamed a misguided version of Creed's "Higher" with Kyle, picked up Brytne, Late Nite ISR, came back to watch Less Than Zero (Robert Downey, Jr., flick from the 80's - it wasn't very good, but this just could be residual disappointment from the lack of Elvis Costello on the soundtrack and all the tongue and softcore!!). I've finished my paper and some good news on other work, and now I guess I should go to sleep because there is still lots to do. In other news, I ran over a Rice Krispies treat today (it was windy as hell out today!) and I had a -- nevermind. We will have a little tact. Just a spring breeze's gentle caress worth. That much.