11/21/2003 - 1:57 a.m. | it all started when i masturbated to something inappropriate

Spritz! Since I know you will read this, and since you are busy UOing now, I am reminding you through these means: Send me Betsy Cooper pics plz. ;) ;)

Eric's parties are just sinking into the void lately. There were like two people there last night, and not a thing was going down. We drank Tang and played Go Fish and watched about a dozen SNL "Celebrity Jeopardy" skits. That's it. Ack. Hit Dank's on the way home - piss warm apple juice and me being silly, not inebriated (because none of you seem to be able to tell the difference) then an interlude, followed by bumping into Sage on Elm. He was stoned out of his gourd.

Upon awakening (awaking?) GETTING UP today, I promptly sat around and did shit. Well, I showered, I guess, and watched a couple of VH1 countdowns (Did you know Michael Ian Black did the voice of the pets.com sock puppet dog? I am as shocked as you are!!) and some Disney Channel, of course, and I went to the doctor for some more non-crazy medicine. It was sort of awkward. Um, they just put in new TVs in all of the waiting rooms, so I was watching The Phantom Menace or some shit (and they had Dum-Dums, which I am finally developing an appreciation for) when Dr. Robin came out and introduced me to the head of the health center or whatever. He asked if I liked the new TVs, and then he said something like, "How do you think they'd make you feel if you were depressed?" He meant it in a general sense, like, "Would it cheer you up if you were sick and had to wait around?" but Dr. Robin and I had a little giggle about it afterwards. "Well, that was awkward!" "Mmm-hmm." Then I tried reading about canker sores in Arabic while I waited for my prescription. Headed home in a pretty happy mood, but that's because the weather is nice. I rode by a bunch of little kids on a walk or field trip or something. I waved, and some waved back. It really does not take much to make me happy.

Yesterday, on my way to JLit, I passed by this box of plastic rainbow peace pendants, so I took one (because, you know, it might come in handy someday!) Anyway, when I thought I had lost my lock and needed to hurry up and get to crazy group, I tied my bike to a post with the necklace because I didn't think anyone would want to disturb the peace just to get my $11 bike hahaha. I was right! Also, while I am talking about things that I was meaning to talk about, in both John Carpenter vampire movies, the vampires are chasing after this black cross that can allow them to walk out in the daylight. Why not, uh, destroy the cross? Or is that against the rules, like burning the flags or something? Because if so, I totally know a security guard who could drop it on the ground for you so you could dispose of it properly. See what I was saying about going no where?

OH! So when I got home from the party last night, my light went out and my computer was making this horrid death rattle. Like one of the fans was out of whack or something. REALLY loud and sporadic and halting, much like an old person breathing. I am worried that the old girl is on her last legs. It's been a great decade, baby. But I can barely stand to listen to you now.

I meant to do some things today - tan and go to the mall and, I dunno, meet a nice girl and settle down (OK, I wasn't expecting the last one), but I got totally sucked into the Disney Channel, worse than I have for a long, long time. Even laundry got delayed by several hours. Will came over to compare stats notes, and we both got absorbed by this awful movie about this kid who was turning into a leprechaun unless he got his family's luck back something something something. Again, so bad it's good. Then I tried to think of something to do, failed, and went back to watch The Shining with Brytne. She seems to like her movies very ordered and logical, which probably makes the random chaos of the movie (Exhibit A) a lot less scary and a lot more annoying. It's so nice to just be absorbed. On the surface, I might be noticing the flaws, but my love is far too encompassing to let it bother me. Then I read some theories about how the whole movie is a metaphor for screwing Native Americans over - the guy was totally stretching - and now here I am hungry and alone. It's quite late, really. Love!!

According to this test I just took, my sexiest body part is nothing. That is, nothing about me is sexy. When the internet starts throwing potshots at you, it's time to call it a night.