10/26/2003 - 2:37 a.m. | STOP PEELING

So, I figure that what with all this extra time from daylight savings, I could spend another hour at the clubs with all my friends... Wait, did I say that? I meant "writing a diary entry." Again.

I think I'm probably a human doormat, but the worst part of it is that I'm so much of a doormat that I don't even mind my doormattedness. So, I was working at Freer today. A kid lost his dollar in the vending machine? Sure, I'll give him one of my own! Need to know the hours? Here, I'll write them out for you! Lost your pen, you say? I'll dig through the boxes of gross old swimming suits and combs, and if I can't find it, I'll post notices about for it! Sarah, the girl who was working after me, hadn't shown up by 1:30 (my shift technically ended at 12:45). I know she doesn't sleep in, so I worried something bad might have happened to her and called her place. Nope - she just thought her shift started at 3:15. "No, no - it's fine! Take your time!" She shows up at 2, I train her with my subpar knowledge of the facility ("Where's the ice?" "Hell if I know"), and I'm out by 2:15.

The thing is, I don't really mind working there. I read and ate sunflower seeds and sang country to my heart's content. This is part of my problem. I am too optimistic about any given situation. I need to start raising some hell. Otherwise, I am the tooliest of the tools. I also need to stop inventing words.

Stopped at the gas station for some junk food, watched a little Disney Channel - I don't care what you say; Lilo and Stitch are adorable! - and then took a three hour nap like a loser. Kyle came home, and as always, I hoped that he would want to go out or something. Nuh-uh. Instead, Lis asked if I wanted to rent a movie. I did, but I wanted to make sure Kyle had nothing in mind just in case. He had nothing, not even a response. "Hey, Kyle - you sure you don't wanna do anything tonight?" "....." "OK, well, I'm gonna go to Lisa's then. Call me if you wanna do something, OK?" "....." As I'm putting on my coat: "Hey - where you going?" :|

Lis and I rent Ikiru (yeah, yeah - Kurosawa's pretentious - blah blah blah). What a sad, sweet movie, though. It's about this civil servant who's just kind of wasting his life away until he finds out he has stomach cancer. He tries to live it up, finds that it's not to his taste, and then tries to make a difference using his limited bureaucratic power to build a park for a group of mothers. The last shot made me cry: him on a swing in the snow singing a sad song but looking genuinely happy. I guess your life is important if you made even one person's life better.

Meanwhile, Lisa slept.

Afterwards, we watched MTV2, which for some reason she can pick up on her antenna. First was a series of the most irritating videos (I found the comments by the "everday" folk more annoying - also, Los Del Rio are cute!!) and then a series of the most controversial videos hosted by Andrew W.K.(!!!) who did all sorts of psycho dances and stuff. It was nice to see unedited videos, but I think I've been exposed to too much to be the least bit started by anything they deemed "hardcore." I'm always reminded of how much I like "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails, but you're going to pretend I didn't say that. Meanwhile, for some bizarre reason, I think Fiona Apple is sort of hot in the video for "Criminal." Like, I don't think she's pretty really, and her mannerisms are dumb... it's just... yeah, I dunno. Occasionally Lisa would switch to Mr. Bean on PBS and I would punch her.

Meanwhile, she was talking to this guy Michael on AIM. As far as I've pieced together, he is "ripped" (direct quote), blonde, tan, a breakdancer (no, seriously), good at the claw machine games, and wants to make out with her. For some reason, she is reluctant. Now, listen - no, all of you. Listen to me right now. I have not kissed anyone for 9 months now, and I don't expect to for many more than 9 months from now either. I can deal with this. I certainly don't think it's unfair (if I were attractive and had a good personality and wasn't kissing anyone, then it might seem unfair. As is, however, karma and I are square). However, if the opportunity to make out with someone presents itself, you are to fucking take it, all right? You owe me that. All of you do. You don't have to tell me, you certainly don't have to think of me (mood killer), but it must go down. So to speak.

So, I left at this point after frantically signaling Lis to invite him over and rode home singing. The commute is seriously the best part.