10/24/2003 - 1:39 a.m. | you will call me Ronin

Of course... everything improved when I walked Spritz back and he had seen two girls make out at the party. I don't even need to have seen - I don't care one way or another - but his exuberance was contagious, so I'm feeling better. We sat on the roof for a while, and then we crashed, or I did, or he did, or whatever.

I just flew through my memoir today. As planned, I wrote about cleaning up puke. 1,500 words in like an hour. Nice. Why is it so easy to write about myself? The egotism, you fool. That completed, plans for the rest of the day remained sketchy. I really need to mail out some ebay shit, or my feedback rating (e.g. self-worth) will drop. And there is a stats test which I seem entirely apathetic towards. In the meantime, I decided that since I do have this time, I might as well cook, so Spritz and I went shopping again. We also decided to start tanning. AHAHAHAH That's right! We'll pay for our fucking skin cancer! I missed another opportunity for a haircut, but this one is my own fault.

Finally showered (where does the time go?) and then went to look at our possible house. WOW. Houses are so much bigger than apartments. And the guy is really nice (I actually met him last year when Lisa was looking). But man, four porches and stairs and a fireplace and big rooms and everything! We really need a fourth for it to work, though - and the variation among the rooms might make things a little icky. Hmmm - I'd take the small room if it kept everything cohesive, I think.

Came back here and screamed at my fucking Nintendo games until Spritz whined for dinner. I dunno - cooking is so easy. It just makes sense. You take a lot of crap you like and you throw it all together until it tastes good. Tonight we had chicken cacciatore with polenta. I love corn meal mash - especially with cream cheese!! So, yes, enjoy your macaroni and cheese! I'm gonna learn to fucking cook!

After cleaning (ugh), I watched Donnie Darko. Man, I enjoyed it so much!! Brytne said it was good up until the end, but then she hadn't really understood the end. One source of pride for me is that I almost always understand a movie the first time through. AS LONG AS NO ONE TALKS. See, I get totally engrossed, and understanding just comes as part of that. Nothing clouds my focus, even complicated time travel / parallel universe things. Anyway, it rocked. I love challenging movies, and fucking Jake Gyllenhaal is adorable (because he sort of looks like Kyle, see)... He's so leery and creepy in a good way.

Followed by gas station, followed by Boondock Saints. It was pretty damn adorable in my mind, and Willem Dafoe was just awesome. Mostly I liked his little pantomimed shooting dance. Anyway, that's it. I watched some movies and junk. Sorry - not feeling so verbose. Just a little, I dunno, lonely. Which is fine. It's not like I'm not allowed to feel that way. People feel all sorts of things, and this will pass like all of them. I'm glad I don't have an easy out. Well, sort of glad, sort of envious. I dunno - so many people will just be able to pick and choose from throngs of potential companions, and I'm afraid I'll just get stuck if I tried the same thing. I guess my standards are too high, but I am unwilling to settle. I will never be that desperate. But I'm not going to lie and say that I'm perfectly content. Anyway, I think it's a good time for me to sleep. First, I shall brush my teeth.

Brush brush brush.