10/19/2003 - 4:12 p.m. | i'm not anyone's first choice, just first available

Hello, dear. Yes, I know, dear. I've been missing for a few days, dear. No, dear, I haven't been cheating on you. OK, OK - just listen, all right?

Man, Friday is a virtual blur by this point, but let's try anyway, huh? I took a nap for a while, and when I woke up, everyone was gone. Mega Man it is. Lame-o. I also wailed some country, but it is best not to discuss that. I am so mournful, see? OK, not really. Anyway, Kitty and Allen and Brytne came over, and though I was sorta grumpy at first, I got happier as the night passed. We watched Thirteen Ghosts - er, excuse me - Thir13en Ghosts with Shannon Elizabeth (whom everyone seems to think is the perfect female specimen, except she's a greaseball - so says me) and Tony Shalhoub (the taxi driver from "Wings!" Do you remember "Wings?" I sure as hell do). I dunno - it was a bad movie, and I came into it expecting a bad movie, but I actually really enjoyed the concepts behind it. I'm a clod, I know.

Michelle came over and with her brought a crapload of candy, which is both a blessing and a curse. We started watching Identity when Kyle called and asked if we wanted to go to a party at his parents'. Brytne was not up for it (because of the awkwardness of it), but I figure it would be even more awkward for Kyle by himself, and I was sorta up for it, so I was gonna go, which seemed to have guilted everyone else into going as well. I suck?? Yousaf showed up later as well. Yay!!

There are two things that make a party great in my mind: Fruit pizza (with mandarin oranges esp.) and karaoke. This had both. I finally surmounted my fear of being a total ass (typically only my true friends experience it) and sang like a motherfucker. Um, I am untalented, and I probably hogged the mic (although I did try to offer, I did!), but I'm a little entertaining at least. Entertaining = loud. I wish I had a better singing voice because I seriously know pretty much every song ever as far as I can tell. Stupid God with his irony. Anyway, I sang "Come to My Window" and "Devil Went Down to Georgia" with Kyle, his slightly-buzzed mother, and this big fat guy in a yellow shirt who I got sort of a prickish vibe from. He and Kyle seemed to be archrivals. Just my perception, though. I think I scared most people away (I was really loud) because the room thinned out. We left shortly thereafter, picked up Andy (who is down for the weekend), and went back to watch the rest of Identity. Man, I love Cusack. Such good characters. :) And Dr. Cox, too! John McGinley, I mean.

There was some foosball and some "Blind Date" and this awesome new animated show on VH1 - totally bizarre and satirical about recent happening and such. It rocked. Crowd began to thin as crowds do (when I'm around??) until it was just me and Michelle, the constant crocheter (Sweater v2.0 is coming along much better). Do you know what mesothelimia is? We sure do because we saw a commercial about it about fourteen hundred times. At 2, VH1's Top 20 came and since we are both severely out of touch with popular culture, we decided to sit through all 2 hours of it. News flash: Pop culture still sucks. Time to go recluse for another 4 months. Sleep thereafter.

Woke up at 1 (aieee!) and then sat around playing games and listening to music until about 3 (double aieeee!). I started downloading like half the stuff we had heard the night before, but apparently, the internet is getting trickier because there are a lot of fucked up versions of songs out there now. It took me about half an hour to find a decent copy of Maroon 5's "Harder to Breathe." I don't even like the song that much. It was just the principle.

Anyway, by around 4, I knew my parents would be arriving soon, and I was going to have to clean off the layer of slime shortly, so I climbed into the shower. Kyle's been buying a lot of cheap items on ebay lately, and one of his most recent finds is this "BodySpa" shower head (as seen on TV!). You know, one of those massaging shower heads on a hose so you can spray it up your butt or whatever (that's what I do anyway). So, I got ready for a nice, high pressure blast. Uh-uh. For one thing, when the head is hanging on the hose, it shoots straight over my head, so that's sort of annoying. But, mostly the probably was the pressure. It was weak as hell. And not just that - it was alternating weak as hell. Apparently, I get very annoyed when water pressure alternates between low and very low, and you can't adjust it. I guess it's supposed to be massaging. I found it aggravating. I kept yelling at it and dropping it and then it would spray all out of the shower and bleh - suck. Kyle agrees. It will be gone soon, I think.

Had just enough time to catch Jessica Simpson being dumb on MTV (Did you know she burps better and louder and longer than anyone else in the whole world? Kind of crushes her feminine wiles some. That, and the fact that she's stupid and lazy and boring and awful) before my parents arrived. We shot the shit for a while. Mom's hair has really faded. She stops dyeing it, I start. The circle of life, my friends. Apparently, they were driving on this backroad to Oglesby the other day (detour or somehing), and they saw this little Asian boy holding up a sign that said "WELCOME TO KOREA" while waving wildly with his friends in hysterics nearby. That makes me happier than most things. Mom keeps asking me what I'm gonna be for Halloween. The lobster is out, I think, because it would be way too big of a project the way I want it done. My second choice is "the Black Ghost." I just get a dark sheet, cut some eyeholes in it, and run around on high-traffic roads screaming, "I am the Black Ghost!" Good, no? Two new Avril posters from the Ukraine, which you should probably come look at it. And this catalogue of "Gifts You Never Knew Existed." Soooo much stupid junk. A book about time travel! Farting George Bush! Terrible novelty t-shirts. I just see my money being poured into their coffers. Furthermore, my cousin Angela has been dating this guy Matt since high school. He attends U of I as an engineer. He's a nice guy - quiet, smart, taught himself guitar, and pretty damn hot to boot (Abercrombie approached him about modeling for their catalogue, I heard). Anyway, in the most recent issue of Cosmo, they're doing something like "Hunks Across America" or something, and guess who they picked out of everybody in Illinois. Him. That's just so bizarre, isn't it? Well, I think so.

Having only purchased a large tool set for my birthday so far (hoo-ray?), we went out to do some shopping. I got some stuff for my bike - a new seat (so much easier to ride no handed now) and one of those rack things on the back (for a CD player or my bitches possibly) - and some clothes and about a million books and CDs from Borders. Stupid media - why do I love you so? Sewing for Dummies should be interesting; it's so much more emo to make your own clothes, right? We got a shitload of candy to smuggle into the movie theatre as well as some guacamole tortilla chips which are soooo good. The World Market has so much monkey paraphernalia and cool food that I just want it all.

We met Michelle at the movie theatre (she promptly lost her ticket) to see Kill Bill. So much candy. Man, I <3 Tarantino so much. And Uma Thurman, who I am normally care not too much for, is just great. Her little self-assured smile is just perfect. Hm. Can't wait for the next part to come out. Also can't wait for Love Actually, this adorable British romantic comedy with Hugh Grant and Colin Firth and Keira Knightley and Liam Neeson. MMM-HMM. I don't know how it's going to work, though, because only couples will want to see it, and I don't want to go with couples, and going alone is creepy (and not emo, despite some views), and maybe I'll just rent it.

Parents and I went out to dinner at Chevy's (near the home of the soon to be "World's Largest Sex Toy Store" - man, that must be one big toy!) where they wisely revamped the menu. Good for you guys! Came back here to drink wine and chat, and I'm glad everyone thinks my parents are cool because hell yes they are. Mom cannot get over the fact that our apartment smells so much like grease. I've adjusted, it seems. They left at around 12:30, followed by some foosball and Red Dawn which absolutely sucked balls. Man! I could not stay awake, even if like 4 high school kids managed to fight off all of the Russkies at once. And why ever did they pick a high school in Colorado to begin their invasion? "It all comes together here, comrades! In this podunk school in the mountains!" Ohhh. Of course, the best part of the whole thing is them screaming, "Wolverines!!" but I knew that before we started. The group quickly dropped off until it was Michelle and I hanging on for dear life (her in her little green crocheted hat - giggle). Stupid movie.

Asleep at 3, up at 10, shower (damn you, BodySpa). Parents come over, and we walk to Panera for breakfast. I haven't had a pumpkin muffin for a long time, mostly because my pumpkin muffin partner has not been around for a while. So, good to be back? You bet your sweet ass it is. Walked back (such a nice day, i'n it?) and installed my bike junk, managing to deflate one of my tires in the process. Huh? Also, apparently Target doesn't like giving out bike racks with enough screws, so we had to head over to Prospect for supplies. Happy Halloween from me nards. Also stopped by the mall to, I dunno, kill time, I suppose. Once again I have ended up with my mother's chemistry and all cologne smells shit terrible on me except musky stuff. And musky reminds me of husky, and I don't really want that. I would like some money sometimes, and I would buy things, but I can do without things as well, so being in the middle here is ideal, I guess. Wow.

I bought a cheese grater! Can you believe?!

Oh, I forgot to note that since my mom is actually down in this area for business, she gets to drive a company car, by which I mean minivan. HAHAHAHA. Dad is incredibly mystified by the remote control sliding doors that open and close themselves while playing a tune. Also, the lights turn themselves on. The future is here, and I find it annoying.

We stopped at World Harvest to look around. The sweet potato chips Mom got were total ass, and my expensive Urkranian cola tasted like Sam's Club. Weak. Tamarind is good (even if it does mean I now have a cold sore from my mother) and gurana is average. I forget what I was saying. Anyway, we came back and remounted my bike rack, and then they left shortly thereafter, and I am sort of sad, I guess, but I will try to wash my blues away with loud music. Loud purple music.

Regarding the title: Uh, I forget.

Oh, yeah... It's not so much that people have this intense desire to spend any time with me (understandably, don't get me wrong); it's just that I always, always have free time and will come along for most anything. Does that seem like an annoying trend to anybody else? Perhaps I should quit it. Sound off, if you will.