10/01/2003 - 3:09 a.m. | i have to go back home and find out what is wrong with my eyes

"Sleeping is more important than writing a diary entry," my brain says. "Especially when tomorrow is your long day (so to speak)." Unfortunately, my brain doesn't work like that completely. And besides, I made the wise choice of walking Michelle back in sandals, so I'm going to wait until the hypothermia clears up. Any minute now.

This won't take long, though, as you have come to expect what my life consists of: foosball and the Disney Channel. I am trying to focus my efforts a little more on the former because I am very pathetic compared to the other players, and there is only so much patronization a person (even a person like me) can take. In the mean time, I have decided that I need to increase my handicraft skills. While I wait until Michelle gets caught up on work so she can teach me to crochet (e.g. end of time), I believe I am going to learn how to sew. Cloth dolls. Hundreds of freakish little cloth dolls all around the apartment, glaring. And I'll sell some on eBay and that's almost instant profit right there, I assume.

Anyway, the holes in my life fill themselves up way too quickly and mysteriously because it was time for the IMPE meeting before I knew it (Some time was sucked up by "Blind Date." Despite my overabundant - some might say annoyingly overabundant - love of irony, you'd think I would love those dating shows. They mostly make me hate humanity a lot. Either the people are awful and hate each other or stupid and hook up way too quickly. And don't get me started on the graphics they add in. Fucking thought bubbles). Tonight we learned about blood-borne pathogens (and the speaker looked like Colin Farrel - what a sexy educational experience!) Yippie! It all seemed pretty basic to me. "Don't eat blood." Oh. And there was the part apart vaginal secretions that made me internally giggle (vaginas spraying everyone all throughout IMPE, etc.) everytime. But now I am additonally certified in blood pathogens or something. Another proud day for the Walshes. Here's something - 3 years ago, a kid ended up drowning at IMPE, and all the press went crazy and started blaming the staff for poor training and such (even though the eyewitnesses who made claims a) didn't know CPR and b) were felons), which may explain the craziness these days.

I love it when Doug says to do something, and I have done the complete opposite. He was like, "If you have to work at Freer or Huff for the first time, stop in earlier in the week to learn the ropes." Or just fumble around like I do. And I'm getting by fine. Besides, when I do what he says, I just get screwed anyway. Last semester, he was like, "Learn CPR or you won't be promoted." So I did. Now he's like, "Now, learn it again!" Uhhhhhh. Fine. I signed up for another class this Thursday. Might as well get it out of the way while my work load is still light. HAHAHAHAHA

Actually, I do have one pressing project this week that I need advice on. I need to conduct an interview with someone about how something works. The what isn't so important, but the person has to be an expert. Any ideas? Spritz said I could interview him about blowjobs, and although the idea of making every paper hilariously inappropriate sounds great to me, I have my poor GPA to think of. So, suggestions are welcome. I was thinking I could talk to a doctor or Red Cross person or something about how blood donation works, like where it goes, how it's stored, problems, etc. and then to make it really, uh, "human interest" or some bullshit, I could donate BECAUSE THEY CONVINCED ME SO DARN WELL.

After the meeting, I sped to meet Michelle and Spritz for bubble tea, where I came up with an interesting theory about how my mind works. I don't remember it precisely, but it had to do with subdivision amongst personifications of my various character traits in my head who debate and argue and waste valuable mental resources (which is why I am only good at certain things, not math and bullshit). It was pretty good. Spritz and I had another bike vs. bus race, and this time I totally rocked! The bus and I were neck and neck the whole way, switching the lead back and forth. I weaved in front of it, blatantly ignored traffic laws, and was generally what I believe to be the coolest person ever. Came back here to watch Bend It Like Beckham. My fascination with soccer jerseys continues. The movie was predictable on pretty much all sides, but it was still cute, so my qualms are teeny. Although, in this one scene, everyone was dancing and ignoring the camera except for this one girl who was blatantly staring at it, and that sort of bothered me. Then! More Disney, because that's all I'm good for. And foosball. Did I mention the foosball? I did. Shoot. I like this new habit of renting movies. It is good for me to watch movies.