09/25/2003 - 11:40 p.m. | now she's just another college girl.

I'm sick, but I'm still feeling a lot better than I have in a long time. That kink I had? Yeah, it dekinked, I think. I'm feeling far more myself, but there has been some damage, I think. Hard to make amends for assholish behavior and the like. So I'm sorry for that.

Anyway, as I seem to have a bit of a cold, I spent a good portion of today on the couch or in bed, screaming at "The Price is Right" on the former and dreaming some freaky shit in the latter. I don't remember specifics (well, I was eating Triple Berry Cheerios, which are just awesome), but I do remember that a ton of people were in it, and it was starting to all make sense. Then I woke up and ate fried food.

Met with Dr. Robin to once discuss my horse pills. I dunno - I have a much better relationship than I have had with any of the therapists I've met so far. I feel like she's actually listening; she makes comments and shit. The shrinks just say "Mm-hmm" a lot and stare creepily, and that's exactly what I'm not looking for. Still, open mind. Open mind. I am making the leap from Prozac to Zoloft. Will this make a difference? Perhaps. I am reluctant to stop with the SSRIs altogether, though, 'cause from what Dr. Robin said, the other stuff can be some scary shit. Like, this one pill, if you try to stop using it, you have to gradually work yourself down off it or you get crazy dizziness. Swell. Let's avoid that if we can, all right?

Came home, did... something. I forget what. Then rode to the quad for Stick-It. I had Kyle's oar jammed into my backpack tube thing, so it was creating this wretched sail that slowed me down the faster I went. I don't really expect this to amuse you, but it had me giggling. I'd be pedaling and the thing would be waving in the wind and I'd be going all slow and jittery. Nevermind. While waiting for Will to arrive with the court and pucks, Kyle and I had a battle of sorts - boat oar vs. sawed off golf club. Of course I won. I have the reach. I think we only played two games before everyone ran off, so I felt sort of bad for Will. Michelle kicked my ass (and was all pissy about it because I'm not a GE), sun or no sun.

Kyle, Spritz, Brytne, and I were gonna go to the mall, but K & B (I know, stupid lazy) wanted to get some food, so Spritz and I decided to have a race home: bus vs. bike! Unfortunately, I still had that damn oar with me, so when I stood up to pedal fast near Lincoln and Springfield, it slammed into a sign and sent me careening towards the 22 bus at the light. That's a little unnerving. Also I lost :(

Went to mall, although I have no legitimate reason to have done so. There was a big sale at Express, so Kyle and Spritz got a bunch of stuff. I don't even know what kind of clothes and shit I like. I just realized this today. Spritz is the well-dressed pretty boy, Kyle is the wacky but good looking one, and I'm ... red-haired mutant with random bullshit clothes. Hmm - lacking identity? I like colored shoes, but they hardly make any for guys. I've had my eyes on a pair of red Adidas forever, but I guess I'm still waiting. I bought a book at the bookstore, and the lady behind me in line was really nice and let me use her Preferred Reader card so I could save 10%! That made me happy. Not the saving so much. Just the fact that she did a little good deed for me. I thanked her profusely. Dilemna (OK, not really): This weekend only, Dry Ice is gonna have all furniture 20% off. This includes my giant, supercomfy pillow thing. I want one so much, but there is no room, and I really should start holding on to my money.

Yes, brief rant on money. Bills everywhere, and IMPE decided that my first paycheck should be $23. By all logic, I am earning over $200 (at least) a month, and then I wouldn't mind so much, but I'm a little nervous as is. I might have to be a bitch and actually call in the money owed to me that I wrote up on the white board. Asshole.

Hit Sam's thereafter, followed by Wendy's, followed by Megaman, followed by how I should probably sleep, but I have a sore throat and really want some orange juice and donuts. That or ice cream. I have become one giant craving. Unfortunately, I feel sort of dizzy, so bike riding is probably out of the picture. Wow - 12 already.