09/25/2003 - 8:50 a.m. | amazing juggling act

Well, all this annoying wackiness has been going on for about a week now, and I've decided that it's high time it stopped. When your dad starts saying your diary is sort of dark, a) that's cool and b) stop it. So I'm a little better. Let's recap events since my last insane spouting, 'k? First, though, brush teeth because morning breath is ass.

OK, wonderful. Spritz was saying something last night about how I'm a toothpaste connoisseur because I brush my teeth so much that I'm able to try all the different varieties much sooner than you normals. It shall be taken as a compliment! In journalism, Old Man Crazy talked about how Bob Reed is good (he is good!), The Thin Red Line, and a hobo. All of this had something to do with sources. Ridiculous class. At least they make up for it with completely insane grading rules and whatnot. Japanese lit is, uh, something. I dunno - it's still pretty boring, but Will reflects his watch into my eye and I fly one of the window shades like a kite, so it could be worse. And discussion is at least a little amusing because this time around I know enough to just say whatever and make jokes and try not to look at Stupidface McBigboob. I mentioned that I had a diary and that I also tried not to go into too many mundane details. Lies, obviously.

You know what? I'm pretty fucking cool. So someone start giving me credit while I am still in this good mood.

Ran some errands and then ate a lot here while reading stupid Askmen.com's 100 Hottest/Sexiest/Butt-Fuckingest/Whateverest Women list. Countdowns always fascinate me, and I like screaming when they make what is a blatantly wrong choice (e.g. Cameron Diaz). Also, their little "If we had one night with her, we'd..." things are hilariously stupid and predictable. Tyra Banks: "Leave a serious deposit!" Karen Mulder: "Watch her get down and dirty with Scully!" Cindy Margolis: "Show her some of our hard disk!" Does anyone else think this is really creepy? I mean, I hate innuendo to begin with. "I would like to have sex with her." There, I ruined your joke. But the royal we thing is what really freaks me out.

Anyway, after lunch, I went over to the Student Services building for my, uh, group anxiety thing. I am the only guy there. This is because it is not masucline to talk about your feelings or have weakness, but I was failing at being a guy long before I went nutzoid, so this is hardly new for me. Because I am a weird, weird boy, I will tell you that two of them are cute, but the cuter one is probably the most messed up of the group. She showed us this OCD she "used" to have where she had to run her thumb in the space between each finger on both hands. She demonstrated, and it was generally sort of bizarre. The other one is more my type of crazy, but I am just commenting here; my real love is the harpsichord. Anyway, I don't know how much we got done in the first session besides getting a general idea of what disorders we all have (I am a generalized anxiety disorder with a little panic disorder thrown in the mix! I also have of late been experience the symptoms of post-traumatic stress thingy, but I cannot think of anything stressful that happens to me ever, so I'm sort of confused), but I guess it's reassuring to know that there are other crazies out there. Still, compared to most of them, my problems feel sort of insignificant. Some can hardly function, it seems, and miss work and class because of their worries. Some can hardly talk or sleep at night. And it's like, "Well, what am I complaining about?" I feel so affluent. Damn.

Anyway, after that, hit home for moe food (I am a pit these days) and then off to work. Totally dead, but that's fine because I had an econ test to, uh, start learning econ for. Actually, one nice thing about the class is they give you the pool questions that they're going to make the test from, so if you just go through and answer all of them, it's pretty much easy money. This requires time, though, and I know some of you don't have that. Kitty stopped by and brought me some Jimmy John's and conversation, for which I am eternally grateful. Later on, Kyle and Brytne came by to kill my last hour with me, although I don't think Brytne would have the patience to do it again. Just a theory. They were amused by Dr. Science, though (as if you could not be!), and his insane ping pong serve. After I locked up (oh, the power), we went out to Steak 'n' Shake (that's right, Mom, more food!), and I got a little decadent - very, very strawberry milkshake (nirvana) and a chili 3-way on a total whim. I was like, "Steakburger? Chicken strips? Steakburger? Chicken strips? CHILI 3-WAY." Mostly it was the name, I assume, because as a food, it wasn't great.

Headed home to finish econ study guide and pretty much force everyone to watch the Disney Channel with me. I'm a bitch. Spritz dropped out soon thereafter and Kyle and Brytne were long gone, but Michelle made it all the way through to "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids" (the TV show). That takes guts to do that as a newb. 2/3 of the Lone Gunmen guest-starred, by the way. Apparently, Frohike had too much class to do something so bourgeois. Anyway, I have decided that Michelle hates me because I'm not a cool GE person, so I'll just fade away into the mist.

I am very stupid, by the way. Stupid but capable. So, I went to bed at about three - although not before watching this loud yellow old school VW Beetle roar to life and putter off in the middle of the night - planning on waking up at 6:30 to study and get myself set for econ. Nate got up at 8. 8:05 even. Shit. So I rode to class, no studying at all, ran up at about 8:20, asked if I could still take the test, and flew through the piece of shit like it was nothin' doin'! I'm almost positive I got an A. It's weird how I thrive on stress like that and how other times it completely floors me. Anyway, I'm going to eat and get some rest before studying for the big, bad stats test. We get a cheat sheet. I believe I will take notes on how to do pie charts. Easiest class ever.