09/16/2003 - 12:15 p.m. | i'm taking her home with me

I�m trying very hard to stick to my promise to go to class, no matter how useless it may be, but they�re really tossing the curveballs. Today in journalism, Crazy McOld yelled at us about punctuation, played the Beatles� �Back in U.S.S.R.� in its entirety for reasons I have yet to determine, and talked about the �truth� in the context of Vietnam, by which I mean ranting. He also said the word �nigger.�

BrooHoo: hahaah there is a studdent here named abby rhodes gee i wonder if here parents were beatles fans

On the way to stats today, I got one step closer to imminent bicycle-related death. I got some badass whiplash going over a log I failed to notice. While some people looked on in amusement as I swore and bounced around. In stats, I read. Best class so far. I am really digging A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, so you should probably read it as well. Assuming you have as much time on your hands as I do. Which you undoubtedly do not. Sorry.

Never let �em see you sweat, they say. Never let your feelings be known, that�s what I say. Never. Screw making an effort. I just get spat in the face. The face.

Thus far having accomplished little more than the completion of my rubber band ball (which is, admittedly, pretty badass), I sat around and read some more. Spritz came home, and then he, Shelly, and I went to the Vietnamese place on University. My lemon grass chicken was spicy and delicious, and Michelle�s hair looked like it �sploded. Four stars. A quick loss at foosball, and I was off to work.

The fact that I am so neurotic and yet so good at customer service is an interesting discrepancy. I�m all friendly and nice and rattle off lots of information that one should honestly not know about the H.E. Kenney Gym Annex. This is my gift. In one fell swoop (well, a four hour swoop), I finished up pretty much all the homework I have for the week, minus the journalism assignment (still need ideas!!). Stats was easy, and I just sort of fudged it on econ, so I might need to go back later, but they are both technically done. Then I did my reading for journalism, and though I am trying to stay open-minded, On Writing Well is a pretty crappy book. I mean, some of the advice they give is all right (even though it seems I ignore most of it � brevity and style and such), but the tone of it bugs the hell out of me. The guy is so convinced he�s right that he leaves no room for argument. And arrogance really rubs me the wrong way. So, whenever I start reading, I always end up pissed off by the end. And then I take it out on the people signing in! HAHAHAH No I don�t.

Anyway, I came home and sat around playing the excellent cover of �Burning Down the House� by Tom Jones and the Cardigans that Kitty sent me, waiting for Kyle and Spritz to finish their homework so we could go grocery shopping. That didn�t pan out, of course. Instead, Spritz and I sat on the roof, drank bootleggers (first of the year), and threw matches off the edge. I don�t understand how I have anxiety sometimes and can be so relaxed at others. Anyway, Michelle came over and we all hung out for a while doing God knows what (Certainly not DDR or foosball! Hear that, first floor trolls?) until Brytne wanted to go home. I followed her on my bike, an astounding adventure to be sure. Then I met Michelle back at her place, and since I owe like half a dozen bubble teas, we went to Ragamuffin to try and knock that number down a bit. Have you ever used the bathroom there? It�s pristine. Piss-tine! AHAHAH. No. We sat around and talked for a bit, but I don�t have the slightest idea what about. I just hope it wasn�t too slovenly. I rode with her back to her place, another awkward exit, and then I scoped out the gas stations for milk. I refuse to get Vitamin D, so I headed home empty-handed, and I am regretting it now because I really want some Fruity Pebbles.

Then I fell asleep on the floor for a good long time. Kyle gave me a tiny pillow, and Spritz moved the stuff off my bed (in case I did make it up there) and turned the light out. I love those guys.

Woke up this morning with a cold or allergies or something. I hate having no idea which because then I have to combine all the cures into one giant ball of medicine. �Weeds� are moderate, and everything else is absent (so says Accuweather), so maybe it�s the weeds. Damn you, ragweed. Damn you to Hell.

I�ve gotten totally used to my hair color. It even sort of looks normal. Relatively speaking. All I need is for one girl to check me out every few weeks, and I am set. No contact required. It helps when I�m on my bike because they can�t see my face is as great of detail.

When I was a little kid, I was terrified of riding my bike without the training wheels and gave up on it for like 2 years. Every time I saw some kids riding around on them, I�d get nervous because I thought it would remind my parents of what a loser I am. Glad I got over that. The bike thing, not the loser thing.

Anyway, today I had an appointment with a doctor about, you know, the crazy. I dunno � I really just want someone neutral to talk with. Key word is �with.� I have this diary to talk to, but it sure as hell ain�t gonna answer. I want someone to give me their advice and thoughts on the shit going down in my life without actually being down in it with me. And I dunno if my doctor today really did that. She just made her little �hm�s and whatever, and it kind of made me awkward to keep talking to that. I�m sort of under the impression that she�s looking for a quick fix. Then again, who�s the paranoid one here? She recommended that I try this anxiety workshop, where I meet with a bunch of other crazies, and we learn and practice strategies to get over what stops us from talking to people. Ironically, the thought of going to these things makes me really anxious. Actually, it�s sort of embarrassing. I have to go to a group to learn how to act like a normal person, to interact with people and stuff. Actually, the interaction isn�t the main problem; approaching people is. I�m in college; I�m supposed to be all overconfident and horny and obnoxious. I fail. :(

OK, afternoon more or less off now. Busy life.