09/15/2003 - 1:14 a.m. | i try to discover a little something to make me sweeter

I swear my butt has gotten bigger.

I guess some things have been accomplished this afternoon. For one, the foosball table is now ridiculously well-lubricated. Like butter, kids. Butter. From there, Kyle and I drove to Wal-mart to buy a router or hub or both or something. I�m not paid to know about computers; I�m paid to swipe your ID card. I discovered that I very much like box matches and would be compulsively lighting them right now except I am too damn close to the smoke detector spray water thing. I guess they aren�t nervous tics if you try to develop them. Hm. We stopped at Wendy�s, which we ate in the Target parking lot while screaming Sister Hazel at passerby. How bohemian. After looking at the bike that Kyle wants (a Schwinn that looks almost exactly like mine � time moves in circles), we headed out. I severely wanted � still severely want � ice cream, but someone had to go see his �girlfriend.� The shaft, man. The shaft.

Anyway, Justin came, dropped off copious amounts of cheap, bulk alcohol (thank you, Sam�s) as well birthday presents for me!! Spring monkey plus soap kit (�You can put erasers in soap!� Yes, but why?) plus rubber band ball kit. We are big on kits. From there, we went to Legends (my first time at a bar� I am a loser. Mostly I just mumble song lyrics to myself) for bingo. The prizes are so crappy (�magic towel,� carpet sample, Beano, and pancake mix, amongst other things), and the guy running it is pretty lame, but it�s still lots of fun (especially the Full Body Shambo, which is essentially rock paper scissors acted out � ninja vs. gunslinger vs. bear), so I�m hoping that next week I can convince some of y�all to go out with me because it is good, wholesome fun. No alcohol required even. It would be a pretty good tradition, I think, but who ever listens to me, really? Afterwards, we went to Niro�s Gyros, and despite what I had been told, they weren�t the best fries in Champaign. Actually, quite the opposite. I left them on the counter, so maybe Kyle will eat them. Everyone is asleep with the door shut now (post-sexing, I assume), but I have quite a bit of energy left and no one to kill it with. Uhm � don�t misinterpret. I don�t want sex. I just want someone to watch TV with. I guess I�ll read instead? And yet more Erasure.