09/14/2003 - 5:40 p.m. | yabbos, rollers, memories

So, what's it been? Like, 30 seconds since my last entry? Hmm - did I start this way before? Stupid brain, if so. Anyway, yesterday (Saturday, for those of you without solar calendars) I woke up, put myself together in the smallest way possible, and headed over to Michelle's so as to get her car so as to go to the olive and cheese tasting at World Harvest. I <3 goat cheese, it seems, and some of the other ones were pretty good, minus the lemon one, which did not make any sense to me. "It's like dessert...... with cheese in it!" Crazy lemon zest. We also tried this Japanese drink (Ramune). The drink itself wasn't all that great (Remember bubble gum flouride treatments at the dentist? Yeah, carbonate that), but the bottle and the process of opening it was wicked. It had this marble in the top, and you smash it into the bottle. I want more just for the gimmick. Which I guess is the idea.

For now, though, we listen to Erasure! "A Little Respect!" Yeah!!

After I rode my bike back from Michelle's, I sat on the couch with Brytne and watched the Disney Channel for several hours, moving only to eat more chocolate donuts. Kim Possible earns my undying respect, and Hocus Pocus is always awesome, if only for the fact that it developed the day's first bit of hilarious lingo: Yabbos = Boobs. You remember that, because I'm never gonna shut up about them from now on.

After Brytne left, I showered and rode my bike to IMPE (which takes much longer than I always think it will, possibly because I ride uphill against the wind the whole time). Work was fairly OK. I mean, nothing super, but the TL I worked with was nice enough (even though she was pretty much the exact opposite of the people I generally hang out with... "I'm so glad I lived in the Six Pack! It's the best place!"). She's an IMPE newb, too, so we were allowed to be retarded together. We, and pretty much everyone that walked by, were totally amazed by this fan someone had set up (pointing upwards) with a beach ball that magically floated around but always stayed on the fan. Everyone wanted to know how it worked, but it was until today that my sleep-deprived brain finally developed a solution that no one listened to anyway. And it was a damn good one, too. We also discussed how I was probably secretly in love with this girl in a pink skirt that was walking around. Sarah said I flirted with her. If I did, it was beyond me because, as we all know, I am incapable of flirtation. Only painful, painful mocking.

I take forever for roving (or, as I call it when someone gives me a questioning look, "searching for corpses"). Most people just hit the check sheets, but I go to weird places because I worry someone might be passed out in a corner somewhere. A couple people commented on my hair, by which I mean older men. I lied and told one that it was natural. "Why don't your eyebrows match then?" he asked. "Well, my parents are Italian and Irish, so my eyebrows got the Italian and my hair got the Irish." You start to go crazy after awhile, but at least someone's talking to me.

Came home, called home, left home to meet everybody at La Bamba. The guy give me a free refill (typically an extra 35 cents!) because he thought I was so cute. Anytime anyone does anything nice for me, I assume it's because they think I'm cute. Now, that sounds like self-confidence, but notice how little I bring it up. Mm-hmm. Rode back to Yousaf's (everything is done at bike warp speed, so my legs are always in agony) where we (that is, Joe, Jon, Jeremy, Kitty, Allen, Brytne, Yousaf, Kyle, Will, and myself) watched Freddy Got Fingered. Now, I know it was supposed to be this God awful movie, and on a certain level, it was... but I found it on the whole really entertaining. And I'm sure if I thought really hard, I could come up with something worse. Because I am an imbecile. I guess you just have to be in the right mood for it. Also, Tom Green reminds me of Kyle, so I guess there was some familiarity to it.

We started watching something that I didn't really wanna watch, so Joe, Will, and I, after standing around outside for a bit, set off to Rentertainment to get something with Vin Diesel in it (A MAN... APART!!!). As recommended by Joe, my new fashion accessory is a cigarette behind my ear. I won't smoke it, but it makes me look all the more punk. As is typical of most drunken wanderers, Joe began yelling shit at pretty much everybody, insane nonsense for the loner Asian guys and half-assed pick-up attempts for loner girls ("Hey! Do you wanna party?!") I think the presence of Will and myself hurt him (as it usually does everybody), so he wasn't making any progress. Oh, second addition to lingo collection for the evening: Rollers = police. Apparently, Joe has this movie called Ghetto Fights about black people fighting in alleys or whatever, and whenever the police came, they'd all scream, "Rollers! Rollers!" So, being the culturally-open people that we are, we had to do the same, except somehow it got altered into the "West Side Story" version because we started snapping our fingers and saying it whenever we say a cop. Weird.

After we picked up the movie (and after I neary lost it), we headed back to Yousaf's, and I headed back home to take a brief nap before we would head out and hit the post-bar scene, by which I mean watching Joe try to score with drunk chicks. A little after 2, Yousaf called and I met them on Green. Joe took control of my bike, and I made the foolish mistake of showing him how my bell works. So, he was pretty much a nonstop ringing nightmare from that point on. He sloppily rode through crowds, ringing and high fiving and hitting on girls pretty much all at the same time. After a lap or two around the area, Yousaf decided that he really wanted corn beef hash or hashed something beef or something, so we went to IHOP. Quesadillas and a chocolate milk, and our waitress was very nice, considering all the idiots she had to deal with. Will seemed sort of in a bad mood (possibly because he has not reached his own expectations in the flipping coffee creamer containers game), and Yousaf really wanted Joe to score, and mostly I just enjoyed being there. We started heading back after that, and I was in bed around 4. Apparently the air conditioning wasn't working at one point. It seemed OK to me, but Spritz had his door wide open, and I saw someone's thigh, and the fact that I don't know whose specifically really scares the crap out of me.

Up at 8 for another exhausted shift at IMPE. I think I was pretty friendly under the circumstances, but traffic was light, so I guess there wasn't much pressure. Same old stuff from yesterday: Trying to kill flies, swiping cards, singing along with the 80s music they pump through the building ("Sunglasses at Night" came on really early, so everyone was pretty much fucked from that point on. Ditto "Raspberry Beret"), seeing far too many old man penises. One definite drawback of this career is the huge rise (!!) in the number of naked old men I have seen. Oh, well. It's worth it - turns out I've been making $6 an hour the whole time! WOOOO! Big money!

After a painful bike ride home (not as bad as the one there), I watched some more Disney Channel (catharsis) and then crashed in here for a good few hours. My nose is really stuffy, but I can't tell if it's allergies or a cold. Either way, that amusing groggy feeling sticks with me. Time to revel in it.