07/27/2003 - 12:30 a.m. | right or wrong, i'm going to defend it

So, how do these things go? I had an important point to make, but I keep forgetting it, so I guess it's not really too important. Having a lighter to mindlessly play with is both a good and bad thing. Good because it gives me something to mess about with, and bad because it enables my need to have something to mess about with.

Anyway, I didn't mention this before, but I foresaw an issue arising tonight with the old family shindig. See, my grandpa typically takes the adults out for dinner and pays for everyone. I am not normally included in this group, but I guess I'm a semi-adult not, so my mom was adamant about me joining in (whether I liked it or not). My cousin Angela has been going to these things since before she graduated from high school, possibly because she has a steady boyfriend and has proven herself a responsible human being. I don�t have a boyfriend :( Anyway, I was coming, and I had a feeling this would stir about some trouble from my aunt Christy, who already doesn�t get along with my mom so well (AT ALL). Christy�s other daughter still wasn�t going out for dinner; deemed too young or something, she had to babysit. Me being an exception would piss her off. I think we all saw trouble coming, but there you go. I am a symbol.

We drove down to Peru (the city, not the South American country) and looked at a few hardware stores for ceiling fans. Actually, quick apology to Cathy for stealing one of your three reserved fans. But seriously, three fans?! Be reasonable. They are tiny and cute, but you don�t get no stinking monopoly on them. Grabbed some fast food and headed over to my grandpa�s to meet up with everyone. I kept getting weird cravings, first for ice cream cake and then for donut holes. Damn pregnancy. I was almost immediately mauled by my cousins (who you may recall from my previous entries if you really paid such close attention to my stupid, stupid life) who dragged me up to their guest room so I could hear Avril Lavigne and get abused. It was during this point that the shit sort of hit the fan, I guess.

Christy asked if I was down here to help babysit. (Not bloody likely, I would like to note. One, the girls are psychotic and two, I would be helping my cousin Lacey whom I don�t think I�ve directly spoken to for almost 4 years. Yep.) Anyway, my mom replied something along the lines of, �Nope, he�s coming to dinner with us.� To this Christy replied, �Well, I hope Miss Lacey doesn�t hear about that� in a pretty snotty manner. My dad ingeniously offered, �Why would she have to know?� but the damage was already done. Mom was terribly pissed that Christy was acting so bitchy, when no one had ever really asked my opinion or given me a second thought at all (I�m sort of the ignored one, I guess). Personally, I had no problem with any of this, but my mom was furious. We went for a walk (to get stale donut holes � yay!), and she more or less fumed the whole. She just does not like this one particular aunt at all, but she can�t say anything about it to her, and it drives her crazy. I offered her a cigarette (I carry around that pack of Marboro Ultra Lights from whenever). She went with an orange-mango slush thing.

We didn�t stay too much longer because Mom couldn�t stand to be around Christy anymore. We went to a bar and drank shitty Redbull and played checkers (I suck at checkers� I suck at most things, really) and she tried to calm down (menthol!!!). Shortly thereafter, we had to proceed to the restaurant we were meeting everyone at. I don't think my ass mix had any soothing effect on my mom.

We went to one of those restaurants where you cook your own steak. Well, I�m already not feeling the best vibes from steak, and I don�t entirely understand a restaurant where you do your own cooking. Isn�t that just home with more expensive drinks? Anyway, since I was supposed to be a grownup now, I tried to make more conversation than I usually do. I know, you wouldn�t believe it, but I can be just a bit charming when I simply must. Still, I don't think everyone� gets me entirely. I mean, not that I�m purposely trying to go over their heads. It�s just that I can be a little weird to normal people, even when I try very hard. Still, I think I made a pretty good effort, so points for me. On the way home, Mom vented some more, and we may have come to an agreement about me coming back to UIUC early. If I go see the ABBA musical with my dad, she�ll take off work and help me move. We have the most insane plans in the whole world, but if it gets the job done.

Got the big Avril poster today. I am excited with the prospect of annoyance. I also got my really cute credit card with a bigger credit line, so hooray for that. More family junk tomorrow (me more or less trying to resist those same three cousins and their attacks) and then back to the factory. Do you remember me??