06/02/2003 - 9:00 p.m. | dooo do-do dooo ("born again," sarcastic begninning)

OK, I�m in an all right enough mood that I�ll briefly (har) summarize yesterday now. Either that or watch Austin Powers. So, I went outside at around 3 am yesterday (I must be lonely) to get some stuff out of my car. It was darker than I�ve ever seen it outside before. It was like being in a closet; I couldn�t see my hand in front of my face. Dunno � made me feel sort of invisible (and it certainly didn�t make opening the trunk any easier). I wish some people were around, so we could play hide-and-seek in the dark like that. Oh, well. Wish for lots of things.

I�ve taken to wearing hats lately. I don�t look particularly good in them, but I don�t look particularly good in anything, so what�s the difference? On the plus side, it covers my hair, which seems to have become a strange shade of red all by itself. Great. I�ve become that which I hate most. Anyway, I still sort of want a cowboy hat. A white one. And, yeah, black t-shirts. I will be so badass. And don�t let me forget to change my address at Europa. I�m sure they�ve dumped everything in the trash by now, but I should eventually get around to that (I tried online last night, but the internet failed me somehow).

I dream of being rejected. No, I don�t mean that in the figurative sense; that sounds really cocky then, don�t it? Kyle and Spritz have dreams about getting with girls all the time; I have dreams about getting rejected. How�s that for low self-esteem? My theory is that the meds do nothing but cram my paranoia deeper into my subconscious (below the tip of the iceberg, to use the tired metaphor), but it could be that realism is finally spreading through all parts of my being. I have this annoying little optimistic streak that keeps me hoping (and worrying) even there is even the tiniest chance of things working out. Good work, guys! I hope you kill that piece of shit! It would make my life easier.

Anyway, woke up at 10 or so, and it was pretty much crap TV with my parents and Kyle all day long. Highlights include �Monster Garage� (Let�s turn this car into a zamboni? Why? Because we can! And then let�s rice it! And swear a lot!), a full hour of the now-defunct NBC series �Jesse� on the Fox Family Channel (so all the mild swears are bleeped out; nevertheless, it has an awesome theme song and Bruno Campos as Diego is just fucking terrific), and that cinema classic Disturbing Behavior, in which Cyclops (James Marsden) and Joey (Katie Holmes) fight off zombified jocks who kill people when they get horny. The music selection in this movie was terrible. The Flys for an oral sex scene? Harvey Danger for a tense escape scene? Guys, come on! Now, here is a job I could excel at. I�m always basing scenes around songs in my mind. I assume I have a talent for it. Gotta have one for something. As far as food goes, we had an assortment of cakes � both pan- and anniversary. Healthy are we.

Eventually, Kyle sorta had to figure out how to get back to UIUC. Plan was for me to drive him halfway there, and his parents would meet us. We stopped at the Sheridan Food Mart for the essentials � Coke, M&M�s, and more string cheese. Unfortunately, we kind of skimped out on the cheese this time, going for the larger, cheaper pack. We regretted our decision shortly after the first bite. Mushy and flavorless. We popped by the Norway Store to see if we could find a better selection (and Susan Whalen � heh heh heh), but didn�t really find what we were looking for. Oh, well. Made our bed and we had to lie in it. Around cheese stick number 12 (right before the 3, make that 4, bonus sticks!), we were getting a little nauseous, but when does that ever stop anyone?! The pile of wrappers on my car floor is pretty impressive, and Coke and M&M�s fix everything. Drove about an hour and met Kyle�s parents, who stole him back. The journey back wasn�t too boring, though, because I had extra time to try and figure out a shortcut home (skipping the hated city of Morris). Using my keen sense of direction (and not the compass ball which always says I�m going east) and vague notions of the area, I took a random turn. Ended up going down this crazy, curvy steep hill, past some train tracks positioned so that seeing an oncoming train would be impossible, over a few narrow bridges, and past some creepy factory or plant that had all these signs like �Drive at your own risk.� Yeah, I did. Ha. I have seem to have a sixth sense for knowing when cop cars are around. Even the ones without sirens on the top. Skills. Anyway, I didn�t get the least bit lost. Drove past the Smiths and the Norway Store again (resisted the urge, even though I had to poo) and was home in time for lukewarm Chester Fried Chicken from the bizarre fast food place in Sheridan that I�ve never actually seen open. Tried watching some TV, but I lose patience with it pretty quickly these days. There. My Sunday. Here comes Monday.