05/29/2003 - 12:20 a.m. | and it comes as no surprise to me with another guy

I don't see how anyone could ever like all of me. Any good qualities I happen to have are dwarved by my bad ones (e.g. low self-esteem). I'm not saying I can't make friends; I'm rather good at that. I'm reasonably amusing and quick-witted and loud nice and blah blah blah (even if I do use too many semicolons). People tend to like that. But I don't see how any friend could like Nathan Walsh as a whole person, paranoia and low self-esteem and and moodiness and all. Lisa was closer maybe, but I wasn't motivated enough, plus plenty of other things, but I think that probably topped the list. It's stupid, really. Not her, assface. This need to be liked. So I should just stop. And focus on the important things. Like ice cream bars. I've had 3 so far tonight. So good. And so are sentence fragments. Perhaps insane ramblings like this are the problem. If I just kept them inside, people would think I'm reasonably normal and then they'd be OK with me. OK, wishful thinking.