05/28/2003 - 12:09 a.m. | i am boring

I've officially decided that I am incapable of human conversation. Anything I could possibly say has already been said by me in here, and everything else is just me making dumb, trite comments. Therefore, tired of being such a bore and scaring everyone off, I am cutting myself off from human society until such time that I feel worthy for interaction again (read: forever). I've been building up to this. Then again, I've been building up to a lot of things, only to back down. Of course, I have been inhaling spot remover for 15 minutes or so now, so I guess I might not be in my right mind. Stupid ideas ("Let's clean my chair!") + ghetto spot cleaner + poor ventilation = psychadelic adventure! Anyway, diary will continue to be updated because that's all I'm good at. Enjoy your summer.

>:O Please forgive the author for his melodramatics. Although it was not his explicit intention at the time, this was all a big stupid cry for attention and reassurance, and that does nothing but harm, perpetuating the cycle of awfulness. I'm a little better now, and even if I do feel like a bore, it's just because some things matter to me a little more than others. Part of me really does want to just clear out so that people won't be bored by me, but another part wants to do in the hopes that someone will come clamoring after. And that's stupid, and it won't and it shouldn't happen. Hmmm - I guess I still have my bad periods. Anyway, I might not be around until I normalize or something, but don't worry about it. I should learn to figure this out on my own.

FROM THE BACK OF YO' BIG BROWN EYES
I KNEW YOU'D BE GONE AS SOON AS YOU COULD
AND I HOPED YOU WOULD
WE COULD SEE THAT YOU WEREN'T YOURSELF
AND THE LINES ON YOUR FACE DID TELL
IT'S JUST AS WELL
YOU'D NEVER BE YOURSELF AGAIN