05/20/2003 - 12:55 a.m. | bearing your mattress / bearing your soul

I guess I've set myself up with some cynicism. I seriously expect to die alone, and while I am not 100% cool with that, it's expected and will be tolerated with a mean glare and a snide remark. If I'm pissed off enough, I can't be sad. And I'm not talking about love alone or some shit. I expect to systematically cut myself off from all of my friends and family just because I am like that. I have that tendency. You might even notice it in milder forms. If I'm a tad reticent or if I just walk out without saying anything... That's the start. You see how it goes. I don't think you'll even miss me after a while.

This is what I'm talking about, the pissiness.

By the way, don't let me buy anymore yo-yos. In the process of cleaning my room, I found around 15 of them. I don't need a single yo-yo ever again in my whole life.

So, here's a good question: I often think I'm boring you, right? I mean, constant worry and all that. So, how the fuck do I keep myself entertained? Well, unlike you, I am highly interested in Nathan Walsh and his stupid issues, so I can just keep running through them in my head over and over. So, not much new comes up, but I never get bored with what's old. Also, I make fun of people. A lot. I'm sorry.