04/21/2003 - 10:36 p.m. | if you gots the poison, i gots the remedy

OK, OK. So - good things! Laundry is all done, so everything is smellin' great (even my blankets, which pleases me to no end!). Done with majority of readings required (minus "Midsummer's," but I've got time). Busey-Evans for tug of war napkin battle (my teeth hurt as does my neck and apparently I flung a chair across the room). Nevermind - this is all vague.

So, apparently, my talent is pop culture. Like, how I can tell you about actors and movies and whatever shit they play on the radio. From what people have said, I am fairly good at it. But how does this help?

Song lyric to contemplate: "I been born before, I'm gettin' used to it" - Flaming Lips, "Moth in the Incubator" Kind of a weary acceptance of reincarnation or something, right? It gets my brain in motion... I'd like to write a story about it almost.

I think weariness is cool. Well, maybe "cool" is not the right word... But I admire people who put up with weird troubles and kind of keep a normal attitude. Like Toru Okada in The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle (That's why I really wanted to take that modern Japanese fiction class. Why'd it have to get dropped?! >:O I would love to just sit around and discuss Murakami with a group of really interested people). I loved his attitude. He was so logical and thoughtful and devoted and open-minded and resourceful. I think he's the coolest hero.

On the other hand, I like ridiculous dark, badass characters when they're overdone. As I mentioned, James Van Der Beek in The Rules of Attraction. The early scenes when he was drunk and he kind of peered up at you from a downward gaze with a grin that was anything but reassuring. He looked so overly... bad. Walking in slow motion, swigging from a bottle of Jack. That would be fun. Rock bottom and fuck everybody.

Those are polar opposites, but I would be pretty content with my persona if I were either of those. I'm too happy, though, I think... and too moody plenty of other times. Really, I should've been better written.

As far as what is not cool, the fact that if you go more than a few entries back, we still have purple bullshit. That's not cool.

Finally, if we must discuss cool things, I downloaded this program called Bill. It's a text-to-speech converter, which already amuse me to no end ("TRY AND CATCH ME, BITCH!" eheeheeheehee!), but it also has a crappy moving mouth and eyes and stuff :) If you want, I'll send it to you. It's 11, and I'm out of stuff again.