03/20/2003 - 10:39 a.m. | yes, it is a new one

Being shy is so strange. Like, if I'm comfortable with someone, I can just bullshit about whatever, but if it's someone new... I just sort of choke, especially if they don't seem super enthused themselves. Part of me seriously thinks I'm just being boring or an annoyance. And even still, even with people I am close to, I have a terrible time expressing my opinion about anything because I feel so grossly misinformed. So yeah... I'm even starting to worry about what'll happen if I do "get fixed" or whatever. Like, what if I am right, and I do annoy people with my inane chatter and stupid opinions... and then, all of a sudden, I'm confident enough to quell the little voice that warns me about this stuff and then the amount of banter and idiocy I let out just increases, and I start annoying everyone more than ever! Ack! It won't make me a better person; it'll just make me care less about being a lousy one! Holy shit, now this is a new fear...