03/01/2003 - 6:05 p.m. | ha ha tricked you

Look, I still write in this shit! Fuckers! And you could potentially read it, but everyone thinks it's gone and no one has it as their favorite! I miss writing a lot, and secret diary was annoying me. BTW, the URL was "crippling.diaryland.com," which goes to show how funny I am.

So, Lis hates me, which is unfortunate to say the least. Rather fucked up last night, I did, and I'm paying for it today. I had fun, though, I think - despite the run in with the fuzz. Saw a pretty good band and far too much DDR... And the tiniest bit of a... meh. Nevermind. It's not important.

This grabs your attention, don't it?

Sometimes my self-esteem gets so so so low. I get this feeling that no one likes me, and that I'll be alone in the end. I dunno - at times I can take a grim comfort in being alone - I mean, who can you depend on better than yourself? But not now... And it's like, "Oh, what to do now?" Should I go out and try to make something of myself? Gather some forces? My fears speak up, though. They won't fucking like me. I'm too shy. I can't hold a normal conversation... only my glib remark here and there. Why yes, I am voicing all my inadequacies. I feel entitled. Anyway... I don't know what's up. I feel like being alone, but that's like the opposite of a solution. I need to be more outgoing and kinder, I think... Huh