12/30/2002 - 1:09 a.m. | madness

In case you were under the misimpression that I was having fun, here are several verbatim notes I scrawled within the last half hour or so:

"I am writing this on paper because if I don't do something productive, my face will melt. For the past 2 hours (more actually) Bill has had the computer. I have had 2 Dilbert books. He has had websites to look at. I have had Dilbert to look at. He has people to talk to [my girlfriend included] - numerous people. I have had Dilbert to talk to. Dilbert. My rage knows no bounds. Luckily, I believe I am going blind. Finally."

"This is a kind of boredom you humans cannot know. I have transcended humanity and am now a rock. Can you guess how loud Ducky's keyboard is? Louder than anything. I can actually feel my brain pulse and writhe. I would sleep, but I am too bored to even do that.

Fucking Dilbert - do you understand?!

I don't think you can."

"Honestly, I don't know why I didn't just get up and do something. Maybe I half-expected Bill to get up and go do something. Maybe I was sort os sucked into the world of Dilbert, mesmerized by it - like slowing down to see a car wreck. It broke me for a while. I'm better now. Still alone, still doing nothing. But better."

"I've been drinking water. A lot of water."

I will write of other things once I regain empathy.