07/13/2005 - 12:23 a.m. | something equally stupid

OK, regarding the big secret, I figure it is about late enough for everyone to know and not be able to do a fucking thing anymore. According to the Old 97's website, the band was going to be used in a concert scene for The Break-Up, the new Vince Vaughn / Jennifer Aniston movie filming in Chicago, and what do you know? They were looking for extras! So Missy sent in that picture of her, Rhett, and myself, and what do you know? We were "booked!" lol, so now we're driving up to Chicago tomorrow, the Riviera specifically to spend the whole day there filming and hopefully we will fucking get to be in a movie!!!

Questions abound, of course - will Jennifer be there? Fuck Jennifer, will Vince be there? Will Missy and I get to stand by each other? How long is this whole thing going to take? In my mind, it seems like it'd be pretty quick, but they originally had us booked for two days, and even now they told us to be there at 7 am ("hair and makeup ready" - ah, yes, because Missy and I are just the type! She looks pristine from the moment she wakes up, and while I am no morning glory, no makeup or haircare product is going to fix that!) What should we wear? They told us to bring our favorite outfit, plus two others in case the colors are wrong (bright colors are bad, I'm told, but they're what I love so much!), but I don't think I have an outfit to my name. Will the band have to play the same song over and over? It'll be kind of hilarious jumping around to the same twelve hours down the road. And what of work? Heh, well, I didn't exactly tell anybody at the housing authority that I wasn't going to be there tomorrow, but what the fuck? Who are they going to tell? I'm pretty much my own damn boss, and I will almost surely tell myself that I am doing a damn fine job. There is also a shift at the cookie place to contend with that no one has jumped forward to cover, but I don't give a fuck either way. This is a rite of passage in my young life, and even if I lose all my jobs, I'll just go ahead and get some more. Miss the chance to buy the DVD 6 months down the road and advance through it frame by frame, looking for my forearm in one shot? Yeah, there is no choice here, friends. No fucking choice at all.

And, of course, like all yokels, I have the delusions of stardom, that Vince or the director or somebody will spot me and go, "This kid has the look! Put him in the front near Jennifer! Let him dance on the stage! Give him some lines while you're at it!" I'll have my own entry on imdb, for God's sake! My one true dream!! But they'll actually just stick me in back next to the fatties (the filler material), and Missy will be up all closer and cute and smiling. Stupid pretty girlfriend.

Anyway, guys, I'm excited, and whoops about not telling you, but Missy and I made an unspoken agreement. To the true fans the spoils!