05/27/2005 - 6:15 p.m. | here is something i sent to the newspaper

So I checked my grades the other day, and well... they weren't too pleasant. Downright gut-wrenching, if we're going to be honest here. But, if we look at my past records, I've always been a pretty decent student (A's mostly, some B's, an occasional C in math - I suck balls at math), so what changed? Was it because I was suddenly thrust into a challenging new world: My first year in the College of Advertising!!? Uh, hardly. As is nearly always the case at the end of the semester, I felt as though I had a pretty good grasp of all of the concepts that I was supposedly being taught in each of these classes. Test and homework grades reflected this. What had changed, however, was the number of classes I took with stringent attendance policies - and, more importantly, my sudden refusal to put up with that stupid game anymore.

I know, I know - there are plenty of good reasons I should be attending class. Obviously, I am putting thousands and thousands of dollars into these credit hours, digging my hole a little deeper each day, so I should be "getting my money's worth," as that type of student will often try to argue. What am I really getting, though? I go to class. They tell me to read something. Then, the next class, they go over this reading - more or less verbatim. So, I either a) read it and am bored stiff with the repetition, or b) don't read it and am bored stiff as they try to explain the watered-down version to me. Good deal.

Again, it could be argued that this redundancy is necessary, useful for pounding lessons into the heads of cretins who don't understand the stuff (or who hadn't read about it in the first place). Well, fine. I'm not arguing against lectures for those who do need them, but those who are clever enough to learn concepts the first time around shouldn't be penalized. And especially not in such a feeble cop-out for points. I spend hours reading overpriced texts at my leisure, I think about the material on my own, and as far as I've seen so far, I've usually got a much better handle on it than those people who do go to class every time. Things might be different if my major were more difficult - if I were studying electrical engineering or the aforementioned ball-sucking math - but as it is, I don't need to go to class... unless I want stupid attendance points. And then, when I do actually drag myself in to get that precious 10 to 30% of my grade, I can assure you I'm getting less of my money's worth than ever, sitting there with an angry glare, drawing on my desk or reading the issue of "Us Magazine" I purchased beforehand for the very purpose of ignoring the whole class. "Us Magazine," for Christ's sake. I thought the arrangement was settled: I give you thousands of dollars, you give me a piece of paper. I don't remember saying anything about my time.

We were talking about motivation the other day in my community psych class. Back when we were little kids, we had curiosity. We didn't know about stuff and we wanted to know, so we learned. As this passion was slowly removed from our systems in the soul-sucking process of secondary education, we became the people we are now, lazy bastards on the whole. To counteract this, new methods of motivation were implemented. Example: You don't come to class, you lose points. So we make it a point (ha!) to attend, theory being that we soak up knowledge while there, willing or not. But, pretty much anyone who has even taken an intro psych course knows that positive reinforcement works better than negative. If you want to reward the kids who attend, fine. Give them some extra credit points. But there is no need to take anything away from anyone. It's like a sadistic game show: You have to sit in a room for this amount of time or you get kicked in the face (academically).

We're approaching adulthood, right? This is the last step before we're in the real, real world. It'd be nice if professors gave us just a little more credit then, and let us decide on our own if we need to attend class or not. There should be no extra penalties - if you can't understand your readings or assignments and don't go to class anyway, then your punishment is intrinsic: You will get a lousy grade. Or if the teacher does actually discuss something in the class that is not directly on the printed page, and you don't go and miss that part on a test, that's fine; those are lost points well earned. But the kick in the face "Ha ha, you got a C because you didn't write your name on a sheet of paper three times a week" makes me feel like a child. I'd like to be in charge of my own learning, thanks.

P.S. If any of my professors read this, maybe we could work out some sort of deal? My name is Nathan Walsh, and I'll bake you cupcakes.