04/15/2005 - 3:17 p.m. | this time will pass and with it will me

So, to get into the big special invitation-only creative advertising class, we have to answer the following question on a normal-sized sheet of paper (graphically or verbally): What is the best color? OR: What is the best word in the English language? This is the type of question that leads to all sorts of bullshit faggotry, but I am hoping that, since these are supposed to be my peeps, that they won't sink so low.

So, I was driving back from crossing the guard (cancelled, incidentally - not that I had any idea), and this lady blows by a stop sign and nearly manslaughters my ass. "You crazy cunt!" I yell after her, and there you go: Lightbulb.

Of course, the "best" in the question is highly open to interpretation. Could be best in my opinion, could be best to a lot of people, could be because of its form, could be because of function. Clearly, the word that is the best candidate is "fuck," but unfortunately Dane Cook already expounded on that better than anyone in the world:

"Fuck is like the best word ever. It really is; it's perfect. It's just fuck. 'cause it's got the 'fff' and the 'uhhh' and 'KUH'! FUH-KAH! When somebody finally says, 'Hey, fuck you!' there's nothing better. I just look at him, and I go, 'Yeah, that's right. Fuck me. Good use of "fuck" right there.' You've really got to emphasize the 'ffff," too, all right, when you say fuck. Ffffuck! You gotta hit the F; you can't go, 'f-UCK!' Doesn't have the same h-h-CUCK! Can't just hit the K. hhhucK. This guy and I, we got in this little beef, we got in this little fight, right, and he yelled, 'Fuck you' and there's nothing above - once somebody hits you with 'fuck you,' that's it. There's nothing better. There's nothing above - you can't go back with, 'Oh, fuck me? Yeah, uh, gaylord!' Doesn't have the same..."

(Transcribed quickly by yours truly.)

But seriously, what other word is so easily used as a noun, verb, and adjective, so interchangeably? What other word is used so often, but still finds time to offend so many? What other word forms the brunt of the most confusing insult of all time? "Fuck you," with the implied "you," as in, "You fuck you" or rather, "You fuck yourself," by which I mean, "Go fuck yourself." How can anyone even hope to top that word? I mean, I love "cunt" and all, but "fuck" is all time king. Derived from the Danish word "fokken" - "to breed"

I guess I'll go with green then.