09/07/2004 - 11:12 p.m. | old entry #2

You actually can't say I haven't been updating. We just don't have the internet at the apartment here, and I refuse to move until my room has been emptied (which means never), so instead the number of WordPad files on my desktop will simply grow and grow and grow. Once I get to my little birthday list thing, I believe I shall add 2 things. One is an actual, for real, arcade version of Centipede with the trackball and all because while I have a lot of natural talent, it is unharnessed, and I'm sure someone will be impressed. The second is a satellite radio system. Ducky has one, and I was just fucking with it on the drive to and from Danville. While there still aren't quite enough stations for me to flip through and always find something decent, there were two different Old 97's songs in one half hour car ride, and that is more impressive to me than just about anything. I suppose I could just listen to the CD's, but it's far more likely to impress girls if it just shows up randomly on the radio, and I know all the words. Girls are impressed by knowledge of song lyrics, right?

The last two days Ducky and Bill were in town. Actually, Bill was more incorpeal or something. He came, kind of sat around, ate p'sghetti, went to visit Elliott, and then was gone, so mostly just Ducky was here. I drafted the two of them into service, and they came and worked for me at the candy store yesterday (Tuesday). We were on the upside of bipolar, I think, because I was really loud and punchy and amusing to the customers as I made my two underlings fill candy bins for, well, no wages at all. I kept screaming Nickelback and making slightly lewd or disturbing comments, none of which I really remember or are that important and would not be funny to you at all anyway. This little fat kid was loving the Mystery-flavored Pucker Powder; I assume he rubbed it on his nipples. Speaking of that, I think I oversoaped my t-shirt or something because it made my left nipple - only the left one, mind you - really dry and painful and erect. I'd send Ducky back to crank up the Police, and we'd dance, and I dunno - I wish he went here and that he worked with me so, so very much. My ultimate goal was to frighten customers out of the store so that they would never come back. Yeah, that'll help with the $20,000 we still need to make this month. I'm also really practicing my flirting lately. I dunno, it's so strange. It's like I have this new talent! I'm just mean to all these prepubes, and they just keep coming back for more! They love it! What does this say for our society? I spent 19 years trying to be nice as possible, and suddenly I'm a dick, and everyone loves me. You all need to be smacked around.

I sort of half-heartedly want to make a shirt that says, "I'm all foreplay, no action," but I don't know what that means entirely. And that would just lump me in with the rest of you.