10/31/2003 - 11:03 a.m. | never be a beauty queen :(

I am not a very pretty girl. :( To my complete surprise, I actually have a pretty masculine face, so I end up just looking sort of retarded with a wig and makeup on. My body, however, is smokin'!! Perhaps a little on the heroin waif side, but I've got nice legs, an OK butt (when you can catch sight of it), and pretty decent boobs (if a little big). This morning was a frantic race to remove as much body hair as possible. I still have legs to do, and I have to learn how to do makeup correctly, but it is my undying hope that a guy (a very drunk guy, no doubt - REALLY, REALLY drunk) will hit on me sometime tonight. Then again, even very drunk girls don't hit on me, so perhaps I just have a bad vibe like that. My pickup line will be, "My boobs are filled with delicious pudding."

Mostly I just get dirty looks. I have no idea why, but everyone just looks so angry with me! WHY DID HE DO THAT? I guess it doesn't help that I am the only one I've seen dressed up so far. Except the guy with the big foam cowboy hat, and of course he automatically has me beat. Part of it is that I now look even angrier than usual. If I raise my eyebrows, I look happier and more feminine, so I best keep that in in mind.

So yes, what to tell? Um, after a close shave, Spritz and I went out costume shopping. Stupid having a vision and needing to follow it regardless of cost. They made me get the tight wifebeater :( Stupid tanning gave me an awful burn (I can't rightly say "sunburn," now can I?), so I was horribly, horribly itchy all night long. So much so that it made me twitch. I would've much preferred to hurt instead. Anyway, we came home, made rice, and then went to a small party at the place above us. It was pretty nice of the girls to do that, but the only guests besides ourselves were the fucking trolls from downstairs. "Hi, we're the ones who called the police on you. Ahahaha" She actually said that. Yeah, funny. And I'm the one who's gonna pee in your gas tank. Ahahahah. Anyway, we didn't stay long because of the trolls and everyone else leaving, but they did seem pretty nice. Then I tried to write my article, which was almost impossible because of the itching. I eventually beat it out, though, and went on to get some aloe, which was pure heaven. I stayed up pretty late trying to get the wig dyed all right (and making the bathroom look like someone had explosive diarrhea, I should note), but luckily Destiny's Child was on "The Famous Jett Jackson," so I had reason to live anyway.

OK, enough for now. Happy Halloween and junk.