10/28/2003 - 11:53 p.m. | retire

Later on, Dave Barry's secretary called me!! I know, I am amazed as you are. OK, probably much more so, but then I am easily impressed. She said that he's really busy this week, but if I'd like to e-mail her some questions, she would pass them on to him and get back to me. I know, less than amazing, but it's still sort of something, no? No.

I discovered shortly thereafter that I had an online advertising quiz to do, thus commencing the frenetic research portion of the day. I got through most of it pretty fast, but there was this one question that was driving me nuts. I had the answer ("association test") - it was verbatim from the book - but it kept being counted as wrong. I tried everything I could think of - "association tests," "associative test," "associational test," even "asscoiational test" (in case they spelled it wrong). I was really flipping out by this point when Spritz comes in to see if I want to go somewhere (he's done with all of his homework, which turns out was a mistake because now he has all of this useless free time), so I start ranting at him. He's like, "What about 'Association Test?'" (That's right! He can speak in capital letters!) Bam - it works. How is that a proper noun? I flew it a foaming rage and someone may be dead, I can't remember.

Actually, it's been a series of trips out with Spritz today. At 1:30, we attempted to run some errands. Spritz's at the courthouse failed (passport); mine at the costume shop semi-succeeded (see previous entry). Then after I spent some time on advertising and trying to mod the wig (no bangs, dammit!), we went out at 5 to tan. It really is relaxing at the time (especially when you bring your own CD), but he and I are beginning to experience the ill effects. His penis is sunburnt (uh... so he tells me), and my entire torso has now joined my eyes in itchiness. Tomorrow is our day off, however, so hopefully this will sort itself out. On the plus side, Pink's "Trouble" was playing while I waited for him, so it has been stuck in my head ever since (I'm listening as I write this). Remember when we used to watch videos? I miss that. My hair is getting long, but no roots to speak of yet. Came back here for a while, and I attempted to look at the lecture notes for econ to fill out the rest of my study guide, but some wiseass decided to make them pdf's, thus ensuring that I cannot ever look at them. By 6:30, impatient Spritz was once again ready to step out, so we went to Wendy's for dinner. It may have been decided that it is there where I should be picking up girls. I forget. What I do know is I love Spritz's penchant for explaining things a little more than necessary. We were discussing Biggie Sizing jokes, and I made some inneundo, and he completely cracked it open. "BY TOUCHING IT!" Or something along those lines. I spat my fries at him. Back again, this time doing econ on Spritz's computer while he was in physics, then Megaman, then no Megaman when Kyle's monitor exploded and he started wigging out and kicking things until I suggested that he borrow mine just to test things (somehow this helped), then reading. Antsy Spritz came back and we went out to Perkins, where I had some totally awesome oatmeal with peaches and raisins (and free milk!), and I swear we were on fire as far as humor goes. Back again, and I read, and now I'm just sitting here and trying not to scratch. I am failing.

Here's an interesting thing: 'cause I forgot to sign a form or something, there is a $900+ hole in my tuition that I need to straighten out by Friday. Oh me, oh my.

I don't know what it is, but lately I am finding the opposite gender completely annoying. I dunno - it just feels like they're all so subversive and conniving and stupid (not in the "duh" sense, more like, "Why are you doing these things? For attention?"), and there's just this cruel, unspoken haughtiness that washes over everything. "As if I should care," I keep telling myself, even though it is a stupid thing to say. "Why are you telling me these things?" And of course, it doesn't take a genius to figure out that the reason I am not in the mood for girls right now is that they are never in the mood for me. Classic rationalization. "Gee, I don't want them anyway." Even though I understand the logic behind the madness doesn't mean I'm gonna go by it. Also, beersluts with big tummies make me angry. I saw this one girl - it was like a flesh colored bowling ball was popping out from under her halter top. Soooo big and round and out of place. I swear I'm gonna just start busting heads.

Why we're at it, anyone else just hate the sound of laughter sometimes? No? Just me then.

Come to think of it, I'm finding a lot of guys annoying too. OK, pretty much everyone. Everything just seems like it's purposely acting so stupid, and I've got to do my best not to act out because this is just an annoying phase of mine. There are exceptions (duh), but it seems I am just a pisshead like that.