09/07/2003 - 1:10 p.m. | wasteless

While I would prefer to be out riding my bike around the fine city of Urbana, it is high time I got off of that pseudo-productive habit and back onto this one. Besides, my legs are killing me.

Someone has been relentlessly trying to pound the idea of �mind over matter� into my head these last few days. The basic problem is see here is that it�s more a case of �mind over mind,� and I don�t have the tools to judge such a competition. Anyway, in an effort to get myself into gear, I made a list of things to get done (always a wise idea, hmm?) that I�ve been trying very hard to work at. My interest still wanes, but it�s something.

Anyway, when I last left you, I was still at Freer. Hell, I still might be there now. But! I finagled Kitty and Caitlin into visiting (more to protect me when I had to lurk into the creepy deserted locker rooms to shut off lights and lock doors than anything), so they were there to attest to my fantastic victory over the ping pong club. The Ping Ponging Illini, if you will.

So, I�ve been at this shithole of a gym for 6 hours now (Oh - did I mention that Michelle stopped by to visit? Because she did! That was nice of her), and the whole reason I�m there �til 11 is because of this fucking ping pong club. And 11 rolls around, and they�re not leaving. Fine, knew this was gonna happen. I found these weird little horns in the back room of my office or whatever, so I whipped one out. HOOOOONK �It�s 11 o�clock! Leave!� Politeness left 3 hours ago. So, people gradually start packing up. Very gradually. And eventually all but 2 tables have at least stopped playing. Fine. Let�s play rough.

All around each table, the people have built primitive cardboard walls to prevent their table tennis balls (�robot balls?�) from flying hither and thither, fancy-free across room 310. So, I march toward the farthest table, kick one of the walls out of the way (give it the finger, incidentally), and come up to Dr. Science and his ping pong associate. �Almost done, right?!� And Dr. Science (named because of his completely immobile huge explosion mound of hair) says something insane like, �You bet your neutrons!� Repeat.

Finally, after a couple more confrontations (those ping pong freaks love to loiter and mingle), the gym was cleared out at around 11:20. It had better go better next time. By the way, does anyone else think it hilarious that I�ve been given a position of power? I know I do. Kitty, Caitlin, and I met Kyle, Spritz, and Brytne for bubble tea (my third of the day � in theory). The plan was to grab something substantial to eat afterwards, but I just got amazingly exhausted, and sleep seems to often replace food, so there you go.

Not a productive morning, let�s say (this is all pre-making the list). I slept a lot, which I guess is worth something (very little) and played foosball with Spritz on and off until I finally made my little chart and got to work on it. Calls were made, appointments taken, moneys deposited, things read, items arranged. This is not to say this was a complete success. I tried to get my notary public application notarized, but �Howie� wasn�t in today. Fucking Howie.

Came home, checked the mail. Junk, junk, junk� But wait � a coupon for 20% off of any item at Bed, Bath & Beyond? This will be your undoing. Spritz was going to the mall anyway, so I just had to kill a couple hours while he tried on his panties or whatever (I got more manga, as I am a sick, sick man) and you know what? I GOT A FUCKING ROOMBA!!

Below cost!

Well, you should be impressed, but I can see you aren�t. So, came back, plugged that sucker in, and in�� 9 hours, we�ll be set to go! Now I just gotta get started on his house. Read some tonight and ate mac and cheese with canned beef (not my idea� and certainly not my tummy�s), and I guess I could do a little reading for class� but it�s hardly necessary to say the least. Yeah, everyone else is already super busy in their hard classes, and here I am. I can�t say I�m not happy with my situation, but I�m sure you guys will be better off in the long run. Maybe I will go on a bike ride after all. And I guess I am lonely, but that�s hardly anything. Mind over mind.

There�s always one thing I�ve been very thankful for: I don�t have red or curly or (God forbid!) red and curly hair. Seppuku would be my only option. Although� I have recently been contemplating dyeing my hair red the next time I get bored with my appearance (instead of merely disgusted by it). I mean, what�s the worst that could happen? Girls won�t like me? Status quo, motherfuckers.