09/07/2003 - 1:11 p.m. | i is another

Perhaps you think that spending money on a robot vacuum is stupid. Then again, you probably don�t have this little plastic thing roving around, bumping into walls, and generally creating as hilarious of a spectacle as possible. I don�t care how �loud� it is, or how �ineptly� it navigates or vacuums. That little guy is adorable and will be my friend long after the rest of you human have deserted me.

Unless he breaks down.

By the way, since you now know that Roomba is off the list of potential belated birthday gifts, you can also remove notary public membership as well. Done and done. And I just noticed my radio has been playing static-y symphonies of its own volition. Crazy Roomba! He can control the radio, just like Johnny 5!

My ultimate objective for this year is to be thrown majestically from the seat of my bicycle. To that end, every time I at the corner of Lincoln and Nevada, I make it a point to cut across the construction site of the house that used to be there. Sticks and holes and bumps and hills pretty much everywhere. Getting through is entirely a matter of luck, and although it seems that all of my luck has been spent upon bike navigation, it will give out eventually. And it will be spectacular.

Here are some important things (juicy bits left aside, as usual, so you�d have to steal my notebooks to see them):

• I am the only one with the tiniest bit of long hair in any of my lectures.
• I am also the only one always with 2 empty seats next to him in a class of 700.
• Someone smells good.
• Reborn as a rock. Constant deception.
• Important song to have stuck in your head: �The Name Game.� Every word I see, I sing the song. People have died from this.
• Soccer jersey? What a weird idea.
• It�s hilarious watching people freak out about bees. Toughy McFrat in front of me spazzes every time one gets near. Just let her (not him) fly into your eye the one time, and then she�ll ignore you. It�s really not too tough.
• Pissant.