07/30/2003 - 10:30 p.m. | and I�d rather been happy than right this time

So, apparently, last night�s entry freaked some of you out. See, when I�m crapping out a stream of consciousness thing, all the stuff inside me floats to the surface, and apparently this stuff makes me sound �insane� or �schizophrenic.� But I�m not, though!! And even if I were (and I�m not!), I�m totally easily repaired. Although I mostly complain about all the time I have at work to think as a bad thing, it does occasionally help, too. But! Be careful of too much ego defense; it can blow up in your face.

I welded all day. Not much to say there. Doughboy packed boxes and did more or less nothing all day. Travo is still injured from crushing his hand in the winder, so they�ve got some dude in his place. Actually, I think it might be Andrew from last summer (or maybe 2 ago?) except he doesn�t look the least bit the same. He was always a big boy, but now he�s gigantic. Also, his face seems to have mutated. I keep checking paysheets to see who he is, but apparently he takes the Travo route and never fills them out. He�s slow as hell, though, so yippie for that. I listened to the Dismemberment Plan�s �Change� on repeat for most of the day. Seems like good musical timing. Whenever no one is looking, I whip short wires at the sign on the wall. If only I had any accuracy whatsoever.

I set myself little time challenges pretty much constantly. Like, at around 1:15 today, I decided that I wasn�t going to change CDs until Harve went into his fucking office or something, and I didn�t have to watch him watching me. So, I wait 15 minutes, he putzes around doing God knows what (like Doughboy, I think he just picks up objects from one pile and moves them to another) and finally he tells Doughboy that he�s going to get something to eat and that he�ll be back in 20 minutes. Success, I think! But I wait. Because I know he hasn�t really left. And I�m right. 5 minutes later, he�s back on the factory floor sweeping or something. 10 minutes pass. He�s in his office, almost out the door. Looks like he might leave. OK, I don�t see him! It�s almost time! Phone rings. Once, twice, three times. Doughboy seems to ignore it, and suddenly Harve is suddenly back and chatting it up with whoever. I think he must have sprinted. So, 10 minutes roll by. Off the phone. It rings again. Meanwhile, his wife (who�s there to help clean the offices and stuff) must be starving. 20 minutes indeed, Harvey. No, this wasn�t going anywhere. I got pissed off, said �Fuck it,� and grabbed a CD. 15 minutes later, time to go.

The whole time I�ve been listening to it, there�s something that�s sort of bothered me about Jewel�s �Intuition� (besides the obvious). Today I finally figured out what it is: the beat in it� For some reason, I get imagery from it of her gigantic mutant boobs smashing against a drum while she grins her nasty teeth smile. *shudder* Yeah, that would explain it.

COD for dinner!!!! My wishes have been fulfilled. Then another trip to jolly old IVCC for hateful econ. I think he feels bad not making the class go until 9, so he makes up stuff for us to do. Just end it! And kill those girls who ask questions!! So close to being done now� Stopped at Tropical Sno; the one girl knows me there by voice, even before she sees me. How sad of me is this?