07/18/2003 - 11:54 p.m. | ggggggggggggggggggg

I have stretched myself a little thin as far as sleep goes, but I feel I should update you on several things. One, I will be gone until Sunday night at the Stick-It world tournament. Two, news of me buying up every Avril Lavigne poster on eBay has spread to the point where people e-mail me in broken English about rare offers I might like. This is very cool. Three, I am going to become a notary public. Very soon. Four, I am ugly. You are correct.

Fine, let's recap today. Stupid Nate. Because I couldn't safely use Mr. Computer last night for fear of lightning death, I got more sleep than the norm. I also had one good dream in the midst of the bad. Yippie. I was less painfully exhausted than normal, and I guess the day went by pretty fast. I set up all these weird little timing systems to make things go by quickly. Unfortunately, Dad had a lot of work today, so I had to sit around for half an hour and wait for him to arrive. I read this article in the Tribune about this guy who turns people's ashes into various objects (with their permission, of course). Like this one guy essentially drank himself to death, so he asked to be made into an Absolut bottle. I would like to be made into a toilet if at all possible. Anyway, it seemed to be sort of a laid back day for everyone. Harve wasn't pissed at me, so woop dee shit, and Travo came up to me randomly: "Hey, did you hear I'm going to Ozzfest?" "Uh, no?" "Yeah, decided to last minute - it's gonna be great! Korn, Disturbed, Marilyn Manson! It's my first concert ever; I'm gonna go nuts!" "Great! I'm gonna go weld!" I guess he's making an effort, though, so good for him. Meanwhile, either Doughboy was only in for 5 minutes today or I just hallucinated him there at all. I turned around to bend some panels, and he had just arrived and was winding a bit. I welded for a while longer, turned around to bend again, and he was gone. He takes a lot of breaks, so I thought it might be that. Uhhh... Nope. He's back on one of his crazy sabbaticals, whether Harve or anybody knows or cares about it. On the plus side, this gave me a good chance to catch up on filling the racks.

At one point, Travo and Snake King both went out for lunch, so it was just me and Loony Pete. He walked up behind me at some point and got my attention. "I locked all the doors in the building. And I shut all the garage doors except the one by you!" Uhhhhh... Great! Please don't kill me! Then he said that I could just let my dad in when he came... except I don't know he could get my attention with the doors locked and all... Just went back to the welding. And my prayers. Luckily, Snake King returned shortly thereafter. His hair was done differently today. I was the only one who noticed :D Both him and Harve asked if I could work tomorrow. Not bloody likely, said my British counterpart. Snake King accepted this; Harve stared at me like it was some sort of blasphemy until I added, "Uh, I'm going out of town." That man is psychotic. I got three phone calls today, and only 2 were from my parents. Mr. Popular.

"And I'm not done, and I won't be 'til my head falls off (though that may not be a long way off)"

Dad came, and we went home. No time for a nap or to adequately comb my hair (puffball... zit-riddled puffball). Off to grandma and grandpa's! There for an hour (killer headache - not them... I just had one, which stunk). My mom is right; Grandpa is totally sharp for an 80 year old. Grandma... well, she tries, but she seems sort of out of it. Then to dinner - coffee and mediocre salad and scrod and Chicken Omar or something (one of those named chickens: Chicken Gustavo or Chicken Clark... something). Then to Starved Rock to see old Steve Sharp play. And play he did. I stole a pineapple decoration, and fuck Jimmy Buffett. He did learn the new John Mayer single, and there's always Jackson Browne, though. Mom is worried about me and my happiness. Don't worry; be happy. That's a good response. Drove home sleepily, and ta-dah. I am grumpy, and deserve to be wretchedly alone forever.

CELIBACY!!!