06/02/2003 - 12:03 a.m. | yeah, who doesn't?

I'm so angry right now, and I couldn't even tell you why. Just sick of being me. Want to be someone better... but I'm not talking about self-improvement here. I want to be an entirely different person with good qualities that people like, that I like. Sick of being boring, sick of being paranoid, sick of being skinny, sick of overanalyzing, sick of being awkward, sick of how icky I look, sick of being reclusive, sick of being alone, sick of whining, sick of worrying, just plain sick. And yet, when I'm like this, I can see why no one would want to be around me. Honestly, who could ever need me? It's this big stupid cycle. Anyway, I'm sure I'll calm down, but I dunno - wish I could bottle this feeling sometimes. It would give me the guts to really leave everyone alone instead of wussing out like I always do. I'm gonna go to sleep. Sweet dreams. I'll be fine. I wish I'd just pick a side and stick to it.