01/05/2003 - 10:51 p.m. | fucking hell

As predicted, the shit hit the fan about that entry a few days back about Lis. Yeah, I knew it was coming. Every time I checked me e-mail and saw one from Lis, I'd worry about a diluge or RAR faces and periods at the end of sentences, and then I was so happy when there wasn't one. But my luck ran out indeed, and now I am fucked. Well, not exactly fucked, but Lis and I are arguing about my diary and the issue I've been fretting over these last few days. She says I try too hard to entertain people, and that this is supposed to be my diary, even if it pisses people off. But it makes you wonder, is a stupid diary worth losing all your friends? I don't want everyone going all Harriet the Spy on me. I guess I do write to entertain. I dunno why else I do this - to entertain myself, to entertain the few readers have, whatever... This is supposed to be my diary, but it's like I made it everyone else's... Diaries are bad ideas in general, I guess. It's never a good thing to put your thoughts down where someone else might see them. I mean, I write because I want to. I feel weird when I don't. I dunno... I don't think I want to go back to pen and paper. Because someone could still find it and read it and get pissed off. Maybe I should stop writing in general. I mean, nothing good's come of all this, right?

Maybe I'll just go and fucking piss everyone off and go live in a shack by myself. Who needs fucking friends if they don't accept the awful thoughts you have about them? We're delving deep into human nature here, folks! I don't expect to sleep much tonight!!