11/12/2002 - 10:52 a.m. | crazy japanese myth of the day

OK, so there was this village, right? And they had all these really nice umbrellas at this one place, and people could always grab one and use it if they needed, and everyone was always nice and returned them. Then one day, there was a big storm, and one of the umbrellas blew to another village where they hadn't heard of umbrellas before. So, seeing how it was sorta shiny and how it had flew in, the people in the village assumed it was the Sun God. Yep. So, if you have a Sun God, you gotta appease it, by which I mean virgins. So, no one was really up for having sex with an umbrella, but finally this one brave girl decided to do it to save the village. She went to the umbrella's temple (of course it had a temple!) and waited around for it to make its move. It never did, though, pissing off the girl ("What?! Am I not good enough for an umbrella?!") so she smashed it up. The end.

I am learning so much about life here.