04/28/2006 - 10:30 a.m. | regrets

I am going through freshman year entries, trying to find reference to that awful turd of a horror movie that I went to see with Shelly and some people. Triad. It was not a good movie, something about the layout of haunted buildings on campus ("It's a fucking triangle!!"), its relation to some sort of superghost / janitor, and overall much bad acting. I think Univeristy of Illinois vs. a Mummy would have been a lot funnier if I had seen it more recently. Anyway, also that night I remember being pretty nervous around new people, so I was extra loud and obnoxious. Eric Wilson was on the quad with some of his hipster friends, and they were doing...something with wagons. Wagon races, I don't know what. But I was an asshole and tore their world apart with my words. OK, that probably didn't happen, but that's how I remember. So I'm going through, looking for any reference to this entry, and I find myself getting more and more aggravated with the lack of content back then. Kyle's drunken St. Patrick's Day massacre? Like a couple paragraphs at best. That shit deserves at least some sort of novella. And when I talked about the porn we watched, The Whore of the Rings, how could I possibly not mention the pierced dongs and the midget saying his ridiculous name (I don't remember it exactly, but it was like, "I'm Bunglefor Waddlekins!") and getting devoured by a Beast - a Beast that was then soothed by one of the porn starlets pretending to blow its nasty thorned giant papier mache cock - complete with glue-launching fake cum action. HOW COULD I NOT WRITE ABOUT THAT And those are just a couple of immediately glaring omissions! How much other shit is gone? There was that whole period back then when I steadfastly refused to write and cause any more problems. What then! Well, one thing that immediately comes to mind is that Valentine's Day when I was just recently alone and probably sort of depressed and fucking Allen Wittman and Ceci were all macking in my bedroom while they thought I was asleep. SLEEP? HA! As if I could ignore the grunts (arg) and moans (ARG) and snapping sound effects I can only assume was Ceci's bra (ACK). Oh man, so many things are lost in the ether. And not all of that is bad, I guess, because I was much more of an emo fuck then than now, but still! All the events! All so shortened! They will be forgotten in time! It's freaking me out. DO YOU EVEN KNOW THE THEATRE PROFESSOR LOOKS LIKE RIKER! WAS IT MENTIONED AIEEEEEE