04/16/2006 - 1:34 a.m. | late at night, drunk on wine, they fall in bed and intertwine

Tonight I learned that the Legrenzis (my mom's side of the family) were pretty much a bunch of Italian hillbillies, living up in the mountains and possibly doing a fair amount of in-breeding. This explains so much - the staggering amount of crazy in the family (poor baby Allison might already have OCD), my grandpa's webbed feet, our terrible stomach issues, the fact that one of my eyes is higher up than the other.

I shouldn't have mentioned the last one; now you're going to be looking for it all the time.