12/09/2005 - 5:12 p.m. | save that shit

I am well off the meds now, and Missy is still annoying the fuck out of me. Is it me then? Or her? Who can really tell? But it's just one issue after another, and you know me: I hate issues.

Yesterday, I was actually in a pretty jolly mood (before the whole hellish paper incident, of course), so I IM'd her and we talked for a little while. I told some stories, was a little more verbose than usual, good times. Then I mention in passing the thing about the meds (which is, when you think about it, actually an attempt on my part to make things better between us - well, between us, between me and my parents, me and school, me and debtors, everyone. Drop that emotional barrier and become the worrier I truly am!), but suddenly she is crying and all "WHY DONT YOU TELL ME ANYTHING" and I was like, "I just did," and I am annoyed because I just wanted a quick chat because I have not showered in three days and now I have to comfort her, and I always find myself annoyed when I am required to be doing that.

So I sort it out (eventually) and promise her I'll call sometime after work. Then, of course, I hit that huge roadblock of the paper. Two voicemails, an e-mail, and an IM in the three hours it took me to re-re-write. Psycho. So I call and get that sorted out, and now she just IM'd moments ago. "I think you should come to visit next weekend instead of me." Which is of course a glorious proposition, except I have exactly 50 dollars to my name (Our water got turned off as of this morning, so I had to dip into the kitty for that one, mmm-hmm). But of course that is no explanation. I am supposed to conjure money from somewhere, I guess, and my inability to do so makes me a bad boyfriend. Of course, this is all translated from the girl code. And... I don't know... I'm just so annoyed by our conversations sometimes. The girl doesn't do anything wrong, I know, but maybe that's the problem itself...

phishymissy: alright. will I talk to you tonight?
mrk r azy11: I will call
mrk r azy11: Late probably
mrk r azy11: but I will call
phishymissy: promise?
mrk r azy11: No. Because then I will have broken my promise if I collapse in an alley full of cheap champagne
mrk r azy11: But I will call
phishymissy: just call, you know I don't like it when you don't
mrk r azy11: I will be full of champagne, not the alley.

and then...

phishymissy: be nice to me, have a good nap, don't forget me, have fun tonight, and I love you!
phishymissy: I should be getting on the road, but haven't yet. I will. I MISS YOU! kisskisskiss
phishymissy: sweat dreams

Ach, too much! I am reminded of the awful early days of Dank and Kay's relationship (right down to the misspelling of "sweet"). And how could I possibly forget you? You would have to leave me alone to do that.

Sigh, I know I'm being bitchy, but why does she always get like this at the weekends? When I am going to be full of booze and shit, out at parties, looking at girls I imagine could somehow be very interested in me. Is she trying to cause that final snap that ends with me licking some fatty. And don't think it won't happen again. I am stupid, stupid.