05/17/2005 - 2:30 p.m. | the Fanatical Nudists' national animal is the fierce penguin

Oh God, guys, I fucking love the cookie delivery job! Pretty much all my time is spent out on my own in the middle of the night, lost, and that is like my favorite thing in the entire world. My sense of direction is decent enough that I can usually get pretty close to where I'm supposed to be (unless I am desperately calling Yousaf asking where the hell 1337 N. Lincoln is), but I have the worst fucking eyes for reading house numbers, so I get out of the car and run around with a box of cookies, leaping over fences and shit. I guess things must be pretty slow, as they've decided to close shop at midnight instead of 2, but there wasn't too much downtime for me, and there's a pretty decent adrenaline rush from trying to get everywhere and back as fast as possible. And when there was downtime, I didn't have to do shit, reading or watching "Aqua Teen" with the manager / owner, Lindsay. I also enjoy the brief glimpses into the freak lives of the type of person who would have a box of 6 cookies delivered at 11 pm. Weird foreigners in smelly apartments, often blasting techno? Okey. Also, I get paid under the table, so it's all instant satisfaction, no taxes, good times, and a shit ton of free cookies at the end of the night. Too bad I don't like cookies. But hell yes, it's just like being a courier or something - my dream job - so this might be the first time in my life I actually request extra hours at a job.

Meanwhile, Kyle's 21st birthday just hit, so we drove to Schnucks right after midnight so that he could load up for the drunken day to come. He'd just sold his books, too, so he was willing to go balls out, buying the "highest rated whiskey on the market" and a fifth of some silver spiced rum (I bet it still makes you smell like a homeless person). Plans sort of fell through, though, ending with a just me and him and a 2 hour marathon of "That's So Raven" episodes, Kyle getting more vocal about his lust for chubby redhead Chelsea on the show. We can only hope this evening goes off a little better. Karaoke, anyone?