11/22/2004 - 10:42 a.m. | ah, but it'll only make me sadder when i can conjure ghosts no more

Sorry for any delays in production, but I woke up yesterday with a headache, and it hasn't left me since. Naturally, I came to the immediate assumption that we have a gas leak or the tumor is metastasizing. Seriously, though, nothing is getting rid of this sucker. I tried sleeping, downing G-nubs and ibuprofen, going outside, eating (for Christ's sake!), and even doing shit. Chores even (Cleaning the bathroom and the moldy sauce pot in one swift stroke!)! Well, fine, brain. You just rot from the inside out then. I can already tell it's started because I listened to Mancow this morning and found it riotously funny. So much so that I brought a radio up here to continue listening. The end is nigh.

Has it really been four days since I showered last? No, couldn't be. Well, anyway, have you seen those d-skins? You put them on your CDs and whatnot to keep them from getting scratched as easily. And they still work in the player. It seems like a really good idea, especially for someone with such blatant disregard for something he loves so much (Let's not look too deep into that, all right?), but I would have to buy so, so many of them. Instead, I've finally taken some initiative in ripping what few CDs I own that still play with some regularity. Ted Leo lurks on my computer with Rhett Miller, and it makes me happy. Meanwhile, while I did harnass the energy it took to bring the Color Your Own Castle and deposit it on my bed, I have yet to hit the reserves and actually remove said cardboard pieces back from my mattress. I think I enjoy sleeping with them - they are really skinny and white, which I assume reminds me of Missy. Incidentally, she sent me the cutest picture yesterday that made me smile in spite of the machete directly in my visual cortex. So, there you go. Girlfriends are good for something.

How far will I go with fucking e-mall.com?? Good question, but I think you should have some general idea, considering it is me. I just had yet another meeting with them a moment ago and have gained yet another tiny piece to the puzzle by asking about 30 redundant questions. You have to break down the wall like that. They keep dodging and weaving, but eventually they will let some crucial information leak out, such as that I will have to consume large quantaties of goat's blood, etc, etc. Sound interesting? Well, I fucking hope so, because they are coming over on December 5th to meet prospective teammates (you guys, essentially), and I want everyone there for maximum hilarity. Everyone is welcome, but Smacko - correction, Drunk Smacko - is required. Actually, everyone needs to be a little tipsss for this to go off as planned (The Plan, by the way, usually ends up with the giant black man choking Smacko while Kyle is circling around him firing the BB gun). So mark your calendars. I'm bringing my freak world home with me! In the meantime, I'm applying for a job with the city. A job I am grossly underqualified for!! Let's put it this way: I'm a little tired of being a mall employee, even if I do have a few hookups I could easily use (Eddie Bauer, Best Buy, Spencers, maybe the Buckle again HAHAHA)