06/17/2004 - 4:03 a.m. | creative energies flowing

"Abbot and Costello Try to Rent a Boat in China"
By Nathan Walsh

-So, how's that one? *points*
-That boat is junk.
-No good, huh? What about that one over there?
-No, no! Is very good boat!
-I thought you just said it was junk
-It is junk!
-Then why would you say it is good? Do you have anything better?
-Nothing better here than junk!
-Well, perhaps I should take my business somewhere else then.
-No, we have good boats!
-I thought you said they were all junk!
-No, only some of them junk. Others aren't.
-So, some are decent boats?
-No, not as good as junk.
-OK, hold on a minute. So that is a good boat, right?
-Yes.
-And if you were looking for another appropriate descriptor, what would you say that boat was?
-Junk.
-ARG!! Okay, forget the junk, what about that boat?
-Ferry?
-No, I'm bi-curious. I'll have to see the dinghy first, though.

*seppuku*

OR

*meet Frankenstein*
[I forget which]