05/11/2004 - 3:58 a.m. | don't care what you say; i am the cute one

I've got about 15 or 20 minutes before this face mask dries; definitely enough time to at least get started on an entry. See, the problem is that it already feels like summer to me. "But what about your abspych final, Nate?" Yes, indeed. What about it? Well, anyway, as I could be wont to sink into a pool of lethargy, I have to keep myself occupied - and cheap. So, when Kyle, Shelly, and I went to Deal$ today after dinner at Taffie's (We live a high class, low cost existence), I figured I could just get some cheapo beauty products to enhance my fragile self-image. I already tried the sea herb mud mask, which made me look somewhere between a Smurf and the Blue Man Group, but it didn't appear to do much. I have much higher hopes for this vitamin C face peel. It smells like oranges and cheap alcohol, which of course brings back memories (and a slight feeling of nausea). I do believe I am going to wait on the aromatic apple bikini area hair remover kit because it's awfully late to send high-pitched screeches echoing throughout all of Urbana. But one has to know, right? Well, that's what I've been telling myself lately. I mean, I knew that shitty Shrek ice cream was going to be horrible, but how would I know how bad until I tried it myself? I suppose this philosophy could lead to disaster, but I've been told I have enough common sense to make most things survivable.

Oh, good. It's drying. I can't turn my head. Anyway, like I said, I'm trying very hard not to be a bum, but with no classes and very little work this week, it takes a village and all that. I already pretty much burned through all the little chores I have been putting off for forever. Got my hair cut from this lady whose Hello Kitty fanatacism makes my own look like a passing glance. "In and out like after a month of abstinence." Stupid brain came up with that one today at some point. I punched myself in the stomach for it. Paid all the crazy bills I try to hide and not think about. Found out about Parkland, transferring credit hours, and why my cell phone disconnects itself after ten minutes (Not like I talk to anyone that long besides my parents, but I think it was getting on their nerves). I even seriously contemplated finally washing these jeans... but we can forego that for a few more days. Sang incomprehensible Rolling Stones songs with Michelle. Got a new lightbulb! I splurge on weird things. My orange juice must have pulp, and my light bulbs must be the super-bright, super white kind that make colors prettier. It doesn't matter that they will no doubt burn out from being turned on and off so much (Kyle's theory, not mine). I'll just appreciate what vision I have. Went over to Dank's to sort of half watch GaS before 2 or 3 hours more of "The Critic," which only grows in greatness the more I see. But you don't need to know that, do you? I guess this thing has mostly dried, so we'll give peeling it off a shot, huh?

Well, that was weird. You know that scene in Back to the Future II where Doc tells Marty he went to a rejuvenation clinic and peels off his skin, looking exactly the same as he did before? Yeah, pretty much that. Except lots more stuck in my hair. Ouchie.

OK, so I bit it and did the hair remover, too. It is the worst smelling shit I've ever put onto my body (think about that one, hmm?). It reminds me of Ryan Savage's house, squared. And incidentally, his house smells like cat plus bad water, so now you have some idea as to what I'm talking about. Anyway, yes, it does work. Strangely well. But! Here is a hint for all of you who might try it yourself some time: Don't decide to do a "touch-up" on any of the spots you missed the first time around. It is painful. Well, hilariously painful if you are me and find pretty much everything at least a little bit funny. But probably just painful for you. I'll just slap on some Neosporin and walk bow-legged for a time. No big.