04/15/2004 - 5:33 p.m. | don meyer's boys and girls club

God bless it, the old computer at Freer is back up and running, so now I don't have to waste all my damn time "reading books" or some nonsense. But first hold on because, as I may have mentioned, I only poop like once a week, and only here. A tummy monsoon is brewing as we speak. The best part about the new system they have on this computer is now when I swipe a card, it shows me their little ID picture right there on the screen. Even though it is highly illegal to do, think of all the fun I could have with a few well-timed print screens? But, they did do their job - sort of. I pretty much have to swipe all i-cards now, just because I want to see their horrid little picture staring back at me. Holy shit - the date and time on this computer are right, too! What hell hath they wrought?

I'm kind of sick or something today. I' not exactly sure. The main symptom seems to be hating pretty much hating everything and not wanting to move. That is a sickness, right? I was 15 minutes late to class toda - and by class, I mean reading with the occasional glance up to learn about drug addicts - because I refused to pedal with any effort whatsoever. We watched this interview with an alcoholic, and he said that if there was some sort of gene that made him the way he was, it was because it made 3 beers somehow turn him completely ecstatic. "Well, that doesn't sound so bad," someone says. Nate snorts and resists the urge to yell something derrogatory about Kam's. Er - KAMS. Much better. We also read about some study that said that college students eventually typically do "mature out" of this habit of drinking so much. They say this like it's some big discovery. I could've told you that was true. If you drank like a college student all your life, your body would forcibly explode your liver out of your torso just for some relief.

Speaking of sexy, I took a really convuluted way home today and rode past three shirtless white guys painting their house while listening to "Sexx Laws." I can only assume they have the best senses of humor in the world. I would like to be their friend. Finally, my card tossing comes in handy.

Kyle sort of subbed for me yesterday, crossing the guard. I asked him if anyone made fun of him, and it turns out they did. Swell. So, it's not just my personality; it's the job itself. Anyway, two girls drove up to my corner and started honking. They "wanted to know if it was safe for them to cross." I told them it was, but when they checked, a bus was speeding towards them. I made my best innocent face. That's right, shitheads. Mess with me, and I'll send a bus flying towards you. Without remorse.

Lisa said something interesting today, about how sometimes it feels like you just can't stand the people you hang out with. "These freaks are my friends?! What the hell am I doing?" It's still really weird how alike Lis and I are. We even both love that damn Five for Fighting song. She's supposed to be bringing me a milkshake, but since I just sort of passed out last night and blew off our walk, I could understand her not coming.

Speaking of friends, if there is enough interest (read: any interest), next Thursday, we will drive to Springfield, MO, to see Rhett Miller in concert. I don't care how unreasonable this is. "OH A FOUR HOUR DRIVE ONE WAY IT MAKES MY VAGINA HURT" If you come, we will go.