09/19/2003 - 3:05 a.m. | self-righteous anger

So, as Michelle and I were walking towards Loomis, we cut across the Engineering Quad, and I started thinking, �Wow, I am getting really screwed.� OK, so supposedly, the advertising program might not continue because there just aren�t enough senior staffers, resources aren�t good enough, they aren�t very well connected with the other schools on campus. As with all problems, this could pretty much be solved by money, right? But yeah, blah blah, budgeting problems. Now, look at the fucking Engineering Quad! They are putting up trees and grass and making hills and little rivers and shit, spending thousands upon thousands of dollars, just to make the engineering campus look nice. �We need some more fronds by the lake! $30,000? No problem!� We don�t even have a campus. Fuck, we don�t even have a building! We have, like, a room in Greg Hall. And apparently, that is just too big of a drain on resources, so better close it down, hmm? There is a building for pretty every type of engineering, not to mention the main hall, their own library, and various other labs and facilities. And these buildings are nice, I mean, really beautiful with fantastic architecture and design and with all sorts of modern equipment. I sat in on Michelle, Kyle, and Spritz�s physics lecture for a little bit. Big comfy chairs, three projectors, video cameras, all sort of shit. I sit in plastic chairs in non-air conditioned rooms while my poor smuck of a teacher tries to shine some crap on the board with an overhead projector. OK, fine, we have a good engineering program, and we want to keep that, and you�ve got to spend money to make money, blah blah blah. But Christ � engineering kids are being spoiled out of their minds. I mean, they even get 300 free pages on the lab printers. I know, it�s a little thing, but that�s $24 right there. Times however many hundreds or thousands of students, and we�ve got another advertising professor hired right there. Not to mention their extra webspace and all the fucking free pizza around all the time. I work at IMPE, you know, and we just eliminated towel service. Towels seem small, but it was costing us over $20,000 every year. Try eliminating just a few of those little perks; the College of Communications would be saved! Just imagine if things were a little more spaced out. Maybe we could have a building, a few teachers, some rooms and equipment that weren�t falling apart. It almost � almost, but not enough, because I fucking hate engineering � makes me want to switch majors just because they are so damn privileged. And! Here�s the best part! In the long run, they�re gonna earn more money than me anyway! AHAHAHA Since pretty much all of my friends are in the program, I�ve tried to bridge relations and stay friendly and not get into that stupid LAS vs. engineering thing, but man � it�s like something out of Marx. Gotta move up to the ruling class. Actually, no. I don�t want to switch out. I want to stay in the program (or what�s left of it after it�s finished being raped), graduate, and work my ass off to get the best possible job and to make it as far as I can in that field. I�ve never really cared about being super well off, but I�m going to try to earn as much as I can and then I�ll save as much of it as possible. I will be a crazy miser, driving old shitty cars, living in a Unabomber shack, eating generic Aldi cereal for every meal (dry). It�ll be easy. No kids, certainly no wife or whatever because I�m too nice or mean or ugly or stupid or smart or shy or crazy or moody or whatever the hell I am that makes me so God awful, and I�ll save every penny I can. And when I die, I will donate all of it � ALL of it; I shall cremated and buried in a Folger�s can to save funds � to the UIUC advertising department, and we will have a building and a garden with possibly a hedge maze and a fountain and the latest robot teachers, and the Advertising Quad (there will be one) will be so tall and glossy and fantastic that it will cast a shadow on the engineers, leaving them in perpetual darkness and misery, crying, �Why? Oh why didn�t we share?� DON�T FUCK WITH ME, ALL RIGHT?

On the plus side, Matt and KC invited me to space-themed party, and I am waaaay too excited a) because mstan is like my favorite ever (shhh, don�t tell) and b) because getting into a theme is just the funnest thing ever! Eeeee!