07/21/2003 - 1:09 a.m. | damage control

Jared Lu steals the words from my mouth. But we�ll forgive him.

OK, gotta get myself fired up for this entry. Fire from the belly! I think I ripped that off from something. So we all do it! Anyway, I planned on waking up at 8 on Saturday, but 6 o�clock rolled around and my eyes popped open. I was understandably annoyed, but I couldn�t seem to get back to sleep. Too excited. Lame. Eventually, I sauntered over to the bathroom (see, I had so much time to waste I sauntered instead of regular old walking!) to begin the arduous process of making myself non-ugly. I figure I�ll be done sometime in the next century. I�ll send you a picture. When I was done, I found I still had buttloads of time to kill, so I watched an episode of �Dawson�s Creek� with my mom. Silly Dawson was having panic attacks, but instead of confronting the issue, he drowned his sorrows. When will you learn?! Packed up my shit and headed out at around 10. So much for the wagon, but I love the old Maxima anyway.

Drive down was pretty uneventful. I made it a point to follow this one SUV all the way there, however. Whenever it passed, I did. When it changed lanes, so did I. For like 70 miles. When we finally did go in different directions, I sped up so I could wave at them. Man, I�m even creepy when I drive. Arrived in Bloomington, followed by Normal and began the search for the park. Mapquest had indicated that it was somewhere in Illinois, so I knew I was on the right track. I drove up to some Girl Scouts having a car wash and asked them for directions. They said they�d only tell me if I got my car washed. Opportunistic whores! Frankly, I�m impressed, though. Roved around (only down one one way street even!) until I found it, and then immediately left again to find an Arby�s with Ducky, Jared, and Spritz. This took much longer than it should (even with help from a random biker), but riding in Ducky�s SAAAAAB was worth it. Back to the tournament to get our awesome t-shirts (no, I�m serious � I think they�re adorable) and essentially get our, uh, freak on.

The tournament turned out to be a lot better than I expected. This was all due to Will, who is a fucking monster. He covered all angles � best trophy, random prizes, a hilarious system of selling drinks (Pick 2 chosen or 4 random, possibly shitty, cans for a buck). Of course, this meant he lost an insane amount of money in the process. For the love of the game, I guess. Michelle provided tunes (and a tent???), and the newcomer (and eventual victor) T.J. provided vulgar comments. Bully for him. I didn�t really like him very much, but I am judgmental and awful, so nevermind what I say. The day was lots of fun. Well, the majority of us thought so. Not sure about Michelle�s friend Abby. She seemed to be a little, uh, annoyed� which is totally understandable, I guess, being thrown into this fucked up game with all these loud people and blah blah blah. She couldn�t have known what was coming. It was hot as hell, so I was sweaty and disgusting while playing. Yum. Additionally, I refuse to use sunscreen, so I am much like a tomato right now. I guess I hurt a little, but I�m not a whiny bitch about aloe vera and junk. Masochistic tendencies even have me liking it a little bit. I slap myself to confirm I am alive.

Oh, yes. As I mentioned last night (this morning?), I am the world�s worst stick-it player. There was a bracket for the worst that you advanced in by losing, and I guess I�m just naturally talented. I wish I could say it was at least a close final between me and Yousaf, but I can�t. I dunno � I really don�t feel like the depth perception is to blame. I mean, we kept a tally of stick-its, and I was fairly average (even above seem people), so it doesn�t seem like I should blame that. There�s just some� thing I�m missing. Dunno� I guess I feel a little embarrassed because I�m never good at anything, but oh well � I got a free pink generic CD player that says �Innocent� on it! And as long as I never go to Sears in Springfield with it, I�ll be great!

Bill got chased by bees, and it was hilarious. Especially shirtless Bill.

Almost right after the tournament ended and everyone was awarded their prizes, Michelle and Abby had to leave (well, Abby did, and Michelle was sort of attached) :( The rest of us went to Pizza Hut (on T.J., which was very nice admittedly) for a victory celebration or something. We ate 6 pizzas and watched Kyle play a video game with a lubed plastic banana. That is insane. On the plus side, I now have a copy of Honeymoon in Vegas if anyone needs to borrow it. I also can eat or drink pretty much anything if necessary. Bully for me; I�m inhuman.

We split up for a while (I stole Spritz) so we could head on over to UIUC. Had to drop off Dale and get back on track, but managed to pass everyone except Ducky along the way (by means of, uhm, time holes. Not speeding). Spritz and I had been desperately looking forward to watching the trip odometer roll over, but we got so caught up in honking and giving everyone the finger that we missed. Serves us right.

Upon arriving, we alternately all played Mario 3 and tried to battle rap, Reggie Champagne style (�poorly�) in rounds. We were very bad at it, but I wouldn�t ever want to stop. Went out for bubble tea (with like 6 orders to bring back) and then showered so as to be less smelly for the party. The �party� itself was, uh, not much. I mean, I didn�t hate it, and it�s good to know that Stacia doesn�t think I�m a complete dork, but if you weren�t that interested in playing cards or getting smashed, there wasn�t that much to do. They had Munchies, though! And a big carnival banana! Spritz, Brytne, and I made the wise choice of going outside and throwing smoke bombs. Moller lives across the street from the police station. We are on fire with intelligence. I suppose you weren�t missing out. At some point, I was happily surprised to find that Matt and KC had showed up. I talked to Matt a lot, which I hope he didn�t mind because I was in a really talkative mood, and most people were too busy loving or spouting gibberish to speak with. KC seemed, hmmm, off� like maybe she was annoyed or something. I hope it wasn�t at me. And I met this guy, Alan, who was really cool. We talked about Pauly Shore, and we played 20 Questions, except he made a Bill and Ted reference that I totally didn�t get. Thinking too logically. Still, genius Bill wandered the streets and was saved by Zouie and the Bashes and such. Bless them. Spritz bought water that costs more than anything, I assume. The gold flakes add to the flavor, though.

-Hey Ted? Wanna play 20 Questions?
-Okay! I got one!
-Is it a mineral?
-Yeah!
-Are you a tank?
-Whoa! Yeah!

Ambled back to PT, where I was given the opportunity to do that which so many young ladies would die for: to share a bed with Spritz in his undies. Hell, yes. Meanwhile, one Bash slept under the table and the other watched �Mutant X.� This alone means genetics are working. Spritz is a bed cow, and he steals the blankets, but the music on Kyle�s playlist was good, so no complaints. I hid some donuts in the bathroom because I didn�t want any ravenous vultures eating them. I was right in doing so.

Woke up at 10 the next day � today even - (incapable of more than 7 hours of sleep?) and started hassling everyone in the living room awake. Then we watched Tom Clancy movies on TV until everyone left but me (Kyle, Brytne, and Yousaf remained, of course). Yousaf conked out (and apparently slept like 19 hours until about an hour ago??), and the rest of us rented Tarantino films and wasted copious amounts of time and ate crap. Not that the sloppy joes were crappy; it just does not top the health food list. I liked Resevoir Dogs a lot (especially Mr. Pink�s chase scene� I can see myself being Mr. Pink in a few years), but not Jackie Brown as much (although the kiss at the end was very well-done, I thought� the closeness and the pause� nevermind). Also, I think it�s very, very cool how Harvey Keitel just started hanging out with Tarantino. I want that please. Somehow 2 movies took a long, long time, so I didn�t get on the road until 9. Relaxing drive home. I like the swarms of lightning bugs along the sides of the road :) Home at 11, and done at last. Hoo-ray.